Reconcile
by Utsaah
Summary: Arthur is a pretty miserable 16 year old, who's living mostly on the street. His parents had given him up when he was just a baby and his guardian makes him do things to earn a bit of money. Her death comes sudden and he doesn't know where to go too. Will he be forever alone and in the downhill spiral he's finding himself in, or will he manage to turn his life around?
1. Chapter 1

**WARNING: SEXUAL CONTENT AND MENTION OF UNDERAGE SEXUAL CONTENT. IMPLIED ABUSE.**

* * *

><p><strong><span>16 YEARS AGO<span>****  
><strong>The blonde girl had tears streaming down her face and held the small bundle close to her chest. She didn't want to hand her child over, but she knew she had too… she couldn't raise this child on her own. At seventeen she was a child herself and she didn't had the money to raise him. And it wasn't like the government was jumping to help her out.

Beside her age and not having enough money, she was on her own as well. She didn't had a husband, or a boyfriend, nor had any family left. All that was not an ideal situation to raise a child in and she thought that what she was about to do, was the only way for her son to get the life she wanted for him.

The woman, Catrina Tregor, stood impatiently with her arms stretched out; ready to take over the baby. But Ygraine wasn't ready, she already cared too much for the child in her arms. But she also knew in the back of her head that there was no other option left. If there had been, she would've taken it a long time ago.

Ygraine pressed a soft kiss on top of her sleeping son's head and with pain in her heart handed her son over to Catrina. She felt sick and stumbled away after one long look at her son, but she stopped and turned around when she felt the object in the pocket of her coat. It was a locket with her picture and a picture of her son's father. It was the man she loved, but who had left her; saying that he didn't had anything to offer her. But his love for her would be enough for her.

Still he had left, and a month after he had left, she had found out that she was pregnant.

"Please, give this to Arthur when he's old enough." Ygraine begged, holding out the locket. The woman tore it out of her hands and nodded with irritation.

Ygraine held her hand out to touch her baby one last time, but drew it back at the last second. She needed to detach herself from her child, or else this moment would become even harder than it already was. She wiped the tears from her eyes and turned away - trying her best to ignore the loud wail from her son that suddenly burst through the small apartment.

She needed air, it was just all too much for her. The door to outside couldn't open fast enough and she just ran. Ran until she couldn't anymore. Ygraine stopped when she reached the open road. Cars zoomed past her and it was just so easy to just take a step forward and let herself run over, because what else was there to live for right now. But she stopped herself from doing so, telling herself that maybe one day her son would return to her again.

Ygraine started to walk on the sidewalk, but the memory of handing over her son kept replaying over and over into her head and it made her feel sick. She began to cry once more and felt lightheaded by the decision she had just made and she was certain that it would haunt her life forever. That was the last thing she remembered thinking about, before everything went black in front of her eyes.

**~oOoOo~**

**CURRENT TIME  
><span>**Arthur, or Rascal as most of the people if not everyone called him, walked aimlessly around the city. What else was there to do for him? Yeah, he could earn money just like Catrina told him too, "_or else don't bother coming back_." Arthur snorted. Like it was easy in this economy to find a job, let alone _get _one. Heck, probably ninety per cent of the population was looking for a job and a sixteen year old with no education apart from primary school wasn't exactly a catch, was it?

Arthur took a drag from the fag he had nicked off the guy he had just blew in the alley for a few measly quid. At least he could sleep in the house now and make Catrina happy with the few Pounds he earned… the bitch. He had earned it himself after all.

But that was his life for you. If he earned some money that day, he was allowed to get in the house and get warm. Or well, warmth was given to him in the form of the tattered blanket that he had since he was about six years old, because Catrina wasn't one to spend money on heating bills... or een on him. No, _if _he managed to scrape some money together, he had to hand it all over to her and then she would go out and get booze and cigarettes and only the bare life essentials. Hell, in this point of his life, he would be happy if there would be a can of tomato beans waiting for him, but he didn't want to be too hopeful.

Arthur rounded the corner to his apartment building and saw his neighbour boy Owain putting away the trash. "Hey," Arthur said, flicking the cigarette on the street. "Wanna do something?"

"No, sorry." Owain said. "Got a major test to study for and mum will go berserk if I fail it. Sorry." Owain said again. Arthur waved his hand in the air like it was no big deal, while, in fact, it did feel like a big deal to him. It was like Owain had everything and he had nothing. But he couldn't blame Owain for that, it wouldn't be fair.

Arthur chose to shrug instead. "Don't worry about it. Good luck with the test."

"Thanks mate." Owain clapped Arthur on the shoulder and disappeared back into the house. Some days, Arthur would stand in front of the house and catch some of the family times Owain had with his parents and his two other siblings. He was jealous, yes, but happy for his best friend nonetheless.

Arthur sighed when he heard the tower clock chime to signal it was six pm. He didn't had anything to do now, and he was starting to freeze from the cold weather that had set in just a few days ago. He actually needed a new jacket, but he wouldn't dare to say that to Catrina, she might throw him out of the house all together after a speech of how abysmal her life was nearly forty years ago. He would like to avoid that, thank you very much.

His hand dug into his pocket and he felt his key and the few coins he had earned the last three days. It was barely seven Pounds, but it might be enough to get him something to eat. And he was in desperate need for something to eat and a warm place to sleep, because he's certain that he can't spent another night sleeping on the streets. It would surely kill him!

With as little noise as possible, he climbed the stairs of the building and put the key into the lock when he found the right door. When he opened it, there was laughter coming out of the living room. Catrina was probably be entertaining some men to gain some money herself. God, he hoped she hadn't noticed that he was in, or else she might drag him out to perform. She had forced him to perform for her company since he was fourteen and his body had started to change and he hated that act even more than the sex he had to do afterwards.

Arthur slipped into his small room. It looked more like a closet than anything else, but it was his personal space and that was good enough for him. He didn't had a bed, just a few yoga matts type of thing stacked onto each other and there was a small cushion that you would normally find as a decoration on a couch, but it was now doubling as his pillow. Lastly, there was a wobbly chair standing in the corner.

Arthur placed the few coins under his pillow, so he wouldn't lose them. He would give them to Catrina in the morning.

"Oh Rascal…"

Arthur's face fell when he heard Catrina's overly sweet voice calling him. She must've heard him enter the house, because she only used that voice whenever there were 'guests' over and she wanted something from him. He swallowed and got up, there was no point at going against her because she would have her ways to let him listen.

When he entered the living room, there were three pairs of eyes looking at him. One pair belonged to Catrina, but the other two he didn't know and he had a feeling what he had to do now.

"There you are." Catrina smiled lewdly to him as she got up and went to stand behind him with one hand on his shoulder, gripping it tight. She was a tall woman, about as tall as him, but she had far more power over him than he had over her.

"I would like you to meet our guests." She held her hand out to the two gentlemen. "Jonas and Alined."

Arthur saw the two men stare at him almost predatorily. He wasn't perhaps built too athletic, he was bordering thinness with just a few muscles here and there, but he knew he had some good looks. His strong jaw, blonde hair and baby blue eyes always gave him that boy-ish look that many of Catrina's clients desired. These two obviously weren't any different.

"Now," Catrina said, tightening her grip to the point Arthur knew it would leave a mark. "Why don't you entertain them while I refill their glasses." She let go of his shoulder and walked in front of him, looking deep into his eyes with a warning glare. Arthur could only nod and began to take off his shirt and move his hips as soon as Catrina left the room.

The two men smirked and gave each other a nod. They popped their buttons and opened their legs to accommodate themselves better. Arthur tried his best to ignore it and continued stripping until he was as naked as the day he was born. He was never aroused when he had to do these kinds of things, and that was obvious from the state of his still limp cock. He continued to swing his hips sensually and simultaneously gave his cock a few tugs, hoping that it would come at least half mast, because Catrina wouldn't be happy if he would be staying flaccid. Her customers always paid her less because of that.

He nearly cried when the ministrations he did to himself worked, just in time before one of the guys beckoned him forward with two fingers. When he was standing in front of the man, he smiled coyly. That smile fell and he had to keep himself from squeaking when the man pulled at his arm and he fell down on his knees in the V the man had created with his legs. He looked up and saw the man nod his head towards his cock straining against the zipper of his jeans. "Go on." The man urged and Arthur didn't had any other choice but the pull down the zipper and take the man's cock out of his pants and into his mouth. He heard the man sigh in contentment as he put more effort into his sucking.

"God Jonas, he looks too good not to share." Arthur heard the other man say. _That must be Alined then_, Arthur thought. He could actually care less about the two men their names, he only cared to get them off as soon as possible, so he could get back to his room. Arthur heard the other man's zipper being lowered as well and then felt two hand roaming over his arse and pulling his cheeks apart. "Hmm, lovely." Arthur heard Alined say and felt his hole being intruded by the man's dry finger. He had to keep himself from grunting by the sudden pain.

He tried to relax his muscles as much as he could and to lick and suck the head of the cock in his mouth as convincing as possible. Fingers of Jonas' hand twined into his hair and tightened at the back of his head. Then Jonas slammed his hips forward at the same time as Alined slammed his cock into his arse. Tears sprang into his eyes and he felt like being suffocated from the front and torn apart from the back. But he still had to continue, no matter what he felt. He pushed back against Alined to meet his thrusts and hoped by doing so that the cock into his throat would get free and that he could breathe again.

He was being pummelled between the two men for at least the next two minutes and he tried every trick in his book to get them off as quickly as he possible could. He succeeded with one last swirl of his tongue and finally felt Jonas tense up. He waited for the cum to be shot into his mouth and simultaneously kept meeting Alined's thrusts until he felt Alined finally still as well.

"Now, now boys." Catrina laughed when she entered the room and saw the scene in front of her. "Did you start the fun without me?" Arthur would glare at her if he could. She would always do this to him when he was at the house (he didn't saw it as his home) and she had customers over. She would make him take the load off (quite literally) and then she would give the clients plenty of alcohol so they would usually be too worn to go for a second round; leaving her with the money and she didn't had to do anything for it.

Arthur was relieved when both men pulled out and he could get up and get away as quickly as possible. He had picked up his few clothings from the floor and was nearly at the door when he was yanked back by Catrina. "Oh, oh. Little Rascal isn't finished yet. Now let our guests see what you can." She said, and Arthur could hear the smirk in her voice. He looked down and saw that he was hard. It happened sometimes, not because he was aroused by what he did, but because the person taking him from behind would hit his prostate gland over and over. Normally he would take care of it in his room, or he would just wait until it went away, but on some nights, Catrina liked to be cruel.

Catrina pinned his back against her chest so he would had to face the two men, who found their own seat again. She wound her arm around his chest, making it difficult for him to move, and her other hand snaked down his side and towards his cock. He let his head hang in shame and just let what was happening wash over him. It didn't took Catrina long before she got him cumming, and he was shooting long stripes of white onto the floor. He knew he had to clean that up in the morning.

Both men applauded when she was done milking him and she held her hand up for him to lick it clean. He felt disgusted, but had no other choice.

"Now, get off." Catrina snarled low into his ear and pushed him towards the door.

"_I don't know why he's called Rascal, Fuck toy would be a better name for him!" _Arthur heard one of the two men say. "_We're definitely coming back for him again!_"

Arthur sobbed as he heard that. Why did his life had to become like this?

He opened the door to his room and found a lit candle with a can of beans sitting next to it. Apparently he had done well enough this night for Catrina to congratulate him with food and light. He nearly scoffed at the thought.

Before he would begin on the beans, he got a tatty old towel from the chair and sat down on the makeshift bed and began to clean himself to his best ability. Despite doing the best he could, he still felt dirty. Perhaps he could clean himself tomorrow at the Salvation's Army, but even that place was filled with creeps that only saw him as their fuck toy.

He sighed and took the can of beans into hand and began eating them. He soon found out that they were still cold, but nearly anything would've tasted good at this point. He was famished after living nearly three days on some stale bread that he got out of a bakery's dumpster.

**~oOoOo~**

Arthur found himself wandering around the streets once more. As soon as the light hit the small window in his room, Catrina entered his room and demanded the money he had made yesterday. As soon as he had given that, she had made him clean the floor in the living room and then threw him out.

He found the chance to clean himself into a communion centre and felt a little bit better about himself again.

But now he had to fill the next give or take fourteen hours until he was able to go to sleep again, whether it be in Catrina's house or on the streets. This was his life for the past years; get up, find work, get to sleep, repeat.

Arthur kicked a small rock with his foot as he continued to walk down the street. Some days he would wonder about who his parents were and why they had given them up, but in the end it didn't matter to him. They didn't want him, so he didn't want them.

"Hey, Rascal."

Arthur stopped and looked when he heard the voice and the whistle that followed. It was a familiar one, but not necessarily one he liked to hear, because he already knew where it would lead up to. He put on his smile though and turned to the man who had called him, well something like that.

Tristan stood with his back against the wall and his hands were into his pockets - he jerked his head to the nearby alleyway. Tristan was about thirty (Arthur thinks) and wasn't exactly an ugly man, but wasn't an overly handsome one either. He would never fall for someone like him. Tristan was one of Arthur's regulars and he was also one of the few who always gave him a good sum of money. In spite of all that, Arthur still hated to have sex for money.

But now, Arthur just dutifully nodded his head and wrapped the thin jacket even tighter around his body to shield off the colder Autumn weather as he followed the man into the alley. At least with the money he would get from whatever Tristan wanted this time, he would be able to sleep inside.

"Just a quickie." Tristan whispered when they were in the back of the alley and behind the dumpster. He was already starting to unbutton Arthur's jeans and pulling down the zipper of his own jeans. Arthur turned around when his jeans fell down his ankles and he bent a bit forward, so Tristan would have better access. At least Tristan always took his time to prepare Arthur enough, even though his spit was the only lubricant he used.

He was still a bit sore from last night, and bit his bottom lip when Tristan's first finger entered him. He didn't let Tristan know though, he might not go through with it and then he would lose his income for the day.

Luckily, Tristan held his word and had made it a quick one. He then cleaned Arthur and himself, pulled Arthur's jeans up and gave him thirty Pounds. Ten more than he would usually give for a quickie. Arthur looked at Tristan, his eyes clearly questioning why the extra, and Tristan only shook his head and put a hand on Arthur's shoulder before walking away. Arthur stared in disbelieve to all that money. He could give Catrina the twenty and keep the tenner himself, she would never know!

Already feeling a bit better of himself, Arthur walked out the alley a few minutes after Tristan to keep suspicion away from him (he had been nearly been arrested one time, but managed to get away). He couldn't help but smile and felt himself as rich as the Queen with the ten Pounds at his disposal. There was only one downfall; he needed to spent it all today, or Catrina would take it from him as well. It almost felt like a crime to spent so much money in one day, but he rather spent it on himself then to give it to Catrina.

First, he would buy a good hot meal and would determine later on what he would spend the rest of the money on.

**~oOoOo~**

It was ten o'clock in the evening before Arthur trotted back to the house. He still had twenty-two Pounds left, and had stuffed himself with some fresh fruits from the supermarket and a fish 'n chips from the local store. He felt more complete than he had been feeling in a while and wasn't even afraid to what Catrina would throw into his face once he would be back at the house again.

He turned the corner and frowned when he saw an ambulance standing in front of the apartment building. Perhaps their old neighbour had broken something again, it wasn't that unfamiliar. He walked up the stairs, and dug into his pockets for his keys. But when he reached his floor his frown deepened when he saw the door already opened.

With caution he entered and was met with medical staff crowding the small apartment. They all turned to look at him with a grim expression and it just made him more confused and more determined to find out what was going on. There was a paramedic walking towards him and was ushering him towards Catrina's room; something that was off limits for him. He wanted to dug his heels, but the paramedic kept pushing him forwards. When they came nearer, he could hear some bits of the conversation that went on inside, because the door was open.

"Ma'am, your back is broken on two places as are three of your ribs which are causing your struggled breathing and perhaps have even punctured your lung. We need to take you to the hospital as soon as possible, or else you could die."

"No." Arthur heard Catrina say determinedly, and he was finally pushed into the room by the paramedic. He wanted to immediately turn around, but before he could escape the room, Catrina's voice got to him first.

"Arthur."

He slowly turned around, facing his guardian. He swallowed, because he hadn't been called that way for many years. Long enough to forget the exact date.

"Leave us alone." Catrina gasped for air and the medical staff were reluctant, but could only obey her wish. When they were alone, Catrina motioned Arthur over with a weak hand. "Come my boy." She whispered and Arthur complied. When he deemed himself close enough, he got the money out of his pockets and put it on the nightstand before taking a step back. He saw her looking at him with some emotion he couldn't decipher and he didn't know how to react, so he nodded to the money. "The money I earned today."

Catrina started crying. "Oh my boy, I'm so sorry!"

Arthur frowned for the third time that night. Catrina never, but he means _never, _apologized for anything. She would always blame him, even if it wasn't his fault. "Miss Tregor?" Arthur questioned soft. He didn't know what exactly had happened for her to be injured like the way she was, but he could take a guess. Most of her clients were to some extent friendly, but there were a few rotten apples in the mix who acted like she was only a meat suit that could be used like the client wanted.

In spite of that, Catrina never sent away a man if she could earn a quid of him. She usually wouldn't think about what kind of consequences might occur, she only cared for the money she would earn.

But it seemed that it went too far today.

Arthur took a seat next to the bed. He had never really liked Catrina, and she wasn't always nice to him, but she was all he got in this world and he couldn't lose her as well. "Miss Tregor, you have nothing to be sorry for."

"I do," Catrina whispered, fighting the urge to cough. "I haven't been good to you, and now it'll be too late to make things right."

"Miss Tregor –"

"No, shh." Catrina inhaled wheezily, but it was too much and she went into a coughing fit. Arthur could only watch helplessly. When the coughing died down she breathed shallowly. "I need to give you something."

Arthur's eyebrows rose in slight shock. He never had gotten something without having to give something in return.

She pointed towards the shabby looking cabinet in the corner of the room. "It's in the top drawer of that cabinet." She winced when the movement was too much for her sore ribs. Arthur first looked at his guardian, but then got up and walked up to the cabinet. "It's a small box." Catrina said.

Arthur came back with a small silver box in his hands, he showed it to Catrina who nodded. "Open it." She whispered.

Arthur opened the box, revealing a silver necklace with locket. "That," Catrina inhaled shallowly. "is a locket with your parents' pictures." Catrina explained slowly and Arthur opened it. He had never seen any kind of picture from his parents, never even heard something about them apart from the fact that they had given him away.

"Your mother gave it to me, the day she handed you over to me. I don't know much about her though. She was young when she got you, but didn't had enough money to raise you. She had beautiful hands and could play piano very well, but she didn't had a career in it and earned very little with the few performances she did do. You were only a few days old when she had brought you to me because she didn't want to put you in foster care. She wanted a better life for you and thought that I was able to give you that." There were a few tears now trickling down her face and that was probably the most emotion Arthur had ever seen from his guardian. "I'm so sorry. I failed you." Catrina mumbled.

Arthur looked down at the necklace again; he looked a lot like his mother. Then his eyes went to the other portrait, the one of his father. Catrina noticed and began explaining the best way she could. She felt herself fading away, but she wanted to give Arthur all the information she had about his parents so he could find them.

"I don't know much about your father." Arthur looked up to her. "Only, that your mother and he were together for only a short period of time before he went to America."

"America?" Arthur repeated, brows pinched together.

"America." Catrina confirmed soft. "He wanted to see if he had more chance in getting a better job there. " Catrina was silent for a moment, before telling, "Your mother never told him she was pregnant."

Arthur felt an angry flash going through him. His mother never told his father about him, of course his father had never tried to find him then!

"Ygraine du Bois." Catrina continued and Arthur was pulled out of his thoughts. "That's your mother's name. Remember that name and find her. She's your mother after all."

Arthur began to scowl. "She can drop dead." Arthur replied monotonously and Catrina grabbed his hand. "Don't say that, she didn't had a choice."

Arthur wanted to say she did, but he didn't want to argue with Catrina while she was in this state. He knew she didn't had long anymore, her eyes were already starting to get unfocused, but he knew she wouldn't want to go to the hospital, she was scared of them. (He had overheard her saying that once to one of her 'guests', Catrina didn't know he had heard it as well).

"Forgive me, Arthur." Catrina gasped for air. "Forgive me."

That was the last thing Arthur heard Catrina say before she released her last breath. There was a small tear trickling down his cheek. The woman who he had known since he was little, and the only parent figure he had known in his life was gone and now he was alone and had nowhere to go. He couldn't stay in the house, he had no money to pay the rent.

Arthur wiped the tear away, gripped the locket tightly in his hand and ran out of the house.

_To Be Continued._


	2. Chapter 2

"Hey, hey! Wake up."

Arthur groaned slightly when he was jostled at his shoulder. He was finally able to sleep after finding a somewhat sheltered place and after somehow forgetting about the biting cold, but now it was all for nothing. His eyes fluttered open but immediately closed when the bright sunlight entered his eyes. How long was he asleep for? He seriously thought it were only five minutes.

Then he noticed that he actually felt warm and his eyes opened again, slowly this time. There were two persons who he didn't know looking at him with concern. When he looked down he saw that there was a coat being put over him. He frowned, it wasn't his and he certainly hadn't placed it there.

"Are you with us boy?"

Arthur looked up to the two persons, it seemed that the elder from the two (he must've been at least seventy) was talking to him. Then he noticed the other one; he was a lot younger (maybe around his own age) and a lot skinnier… and was hugging himself because he wasn't wearing a coat. It took him a second, but then Arthur bolted up like he was burned and held out the coat in front of him.

"Sorry, I'm so sorry." He repeated, jostling the jacket and hoping that the younger man would take it, as it was obviously his. The guy took his coat in hands, but instead of putting it on, he stepped forwards and draped it over Arthur's shoulders.

"I think you need it more than me." The young man said, although Arthur could see him obviously shivering from the cold. All things considered, the coat around his shoulders (it couldn't possibly fit him normally. Even though he was skinny himself, he had a little bit more meat on his bones and was broader built than the guy opposite of him) was giving him so much warmth that he didn't really want to part from it. But he couldn't possibly keep it for long, and he knew he had to do something to thank them for their kindness.

Now, he wasn't totally unfamiliar with having sex with elderly people, but that didn't mean that he liked doing it. Catrina didn't care about age or looks, she only cared for the money they were carrying. Catrina… oh god.

Arthur slumped against the wall and down to the cold ground when memories of last night hit him.

"Gaius!"

"Take him inside Merlin."

Arthur stared in front of him. He was reliving the last moments he had with Catrina, and vaguely registered himself being lifted, and being supported with one arm over the younger man's shoulders before he was being helped (more like dragged) forward.

Slowly his senses started to return to him and he saw a house appearing into his vision. He was sure now that the two persons just wanted to use him for his services because he had been using that guy's coat. It wasn't like he _asked _for the coat or anything! But it didn't mattered, he still used the coat, so he had to pay for that kindness.

He was far too busy thinking what the two wanted to do with him, that he hardly registered that they had entered the house, and the younger guy had pushed him towards a room and onto the bed.

Arthur then blinked sluggishly when his back hit a soft matrass, and it was the moment where he confirmed to himself that sex was exactly what the two persons wanted. He was thinking of ways of what he could to do them, but the warmth of the house was making him drowsy.

Before he knew it, his eyes closed and he fell asleep.

**~oOoOo~**

Arthur woke up some hours later, feeling disorientated and not knowing where he exactly was. The house was exceptionally warm and Arthur never had felt any better. Then there was the bed he was lying on, it was soft and was made out of the best materials. Well, probably. It at least beat his yoga matts that resembled his bed by a mile. Arthur's mood dropped slightly, he remembered again that he didn't had a home anymore.

Then his eyes widened. Those two people he saw outside, they had offered him a coat. They had taken him inside in the house, _and _he then he had the _decency_ to fall asleep before he could even thank them with his services. He would have a big debt with them now and who knows _what _the two persons required from him to repay that debt.

He first reached under his thin shirt to see if the necklace and locket were still there and when he felt the piece of jewellery he let out some air out of relieve. The necklace was everything he owned now.

The next thing he did was searching for his shoes, he couldn't remember that he had even taking them off. He found them neatly put next to the bed and quickly put them on before slowly walking to the door. When he opened it, he heard voices coming from a room at the end of the hallway, and Arthur assumed that the two persons, and possibly owners of this house, were in there.

Arthur knocked on the open door before actually entering and the conversation stopped. Arthur couldn't see that they were looking at him because he had his head bowed down. His fingers were trembling slightly, because he knew he had to perform for them. It was the least he could do. His hands were already slowly going up to the hem of his shirt, but he stopped when he heard someone (the older one of the two probably) said, "I'm glad to see you up, come. Sit. There's some soup, take some, it'll warm you up even more."

Arthur dared to sneak up. He saw the two persons from earlier sitting on a small rectangular table and were looking at him again. Both had soft smiles on their faces. Arthur noticed the pan of hot steaming soup too that was placed in the middle of the table, with a garlic baguette cut in pieces lying next to it, waiting to be dipped into the soup. Arthur's mouth watered, he couldn't remember the last time he ever had a hot steaming bowl of soup, let alone some pieces of bread that looked actually fresh.

But he knew he couldn't accept that offer. It would only increase his already large debt. He knew what he had to do now, and even though he didn't like it, he still made his feet go forward. The two persons watched him slowly shuffling closer.

When he was close at the table, the younger one pushed a chair back but Arthur knew he couldn't sit quite yet. He sank down on his knees close to the older from the two, because he would probably the owner of this house and needed to be rewarded first. Arthur's hands reached out for the man's zipper, but when the man noticed what he was about to do, he stood up. Arthur then heard the younger man exclaim, "Oh my god!"

Arthur's eyes widened and immediately held his head down. Maybe the person liked to have control and wouldn't like that someone as useless as himself being the one initiating it. Arthur was ready to get reprimanded for his mistake, and he kept muttering. "I'm sorry sir, please forgive me. I do whatever you want from me."

Arthur felt a hand on his shoulder and was waiting for it to tighten in its grip, but it never happened. He felt the older man crouching down onto his eyelevel, but Arthur couldn't meet his gaze. It was better to wait for what would happen. But again, nothing happened, no beating, no yelling, no nothing. If anything, he felt only kindness… if that was even something you could feel.

There was a finger brought under his chin and his head was slowly being lifted. Arthur still kept looking down, but there came a point that he couldn't avoid the man's gaze anymore and he looked straight into his eyes. He expected some kind of anger to be harboured in them, but instead he saw… sympathy?

But why would someone feel sympathy for him, he was nothing. A body that could be used for anyone who had a few extra Pounds in their pockets.

"What happened to you my boy?" The man muttered and Arthur wasn't entirely sure if the question was directed to him, or whether it was a rhetorical one. Arthur chose to say nothing, it was better than to speak out of turn.

Arthur was hauled up onto his legs and being placed onto the seat the younger one had pushed back earlier. His head immediately went down again and his fingers found themselves and he started to fidget.

There were some noises around him, the scraping of the ladle against the pan and then he heard soup being poured into a bowl and placed down again. There were a few other soft noises, but Arthur didn't dare to look up to see what was happening.

He nearly jumped when he felt a hand on his arm and he looked up at the man in shock, and swallowed. The man took his hand back and held them both up. "I don't want to harm you." He said softly. Arthur didn't know whether or not to believe the man, his gut said that he could though, but he still was uncertain. His eyes looked the other way and fell onto the younger one, who held out a piece of bread with a reassuring smile. "Here, just eat something. I swear, I don't need anything in return."

Arthur swallowed once more. It could be a trap.

But something made him feel that he could trust the two people in front of him. He was biting his lip, he wanted nothing more than to accept the bread and eat it, as well as dive into that soup that was just calling his name. The rumbling in his stomach didn't help with the situation either.

He decided to take his chances. If he would get a beating or whatever, at least he would had a bite to eat. With slow movements, he accepted the bread and watched carefully to both persons' reactions. He saw the younger one nod in contentment and saw the older one take his seat again and pick up his spoon to resume eating.

Arthur felt that the bread was warm and he smelled the freshness of it. He looked at both men again, but they didn't seemed to pay much attention to him, both too busy ravishing their bowl of soup, so Arthur took a chance and brought the piece of bread to his mouth. It tasted delicious and it was gone before his brain even noticed.

The younger one placed two other pieces of bread in front of Arthur without even looking and Arthur was flabbergasted. He couldn't possibly accept such kindness without anything in return as the younger one had said a few moments ago.

Then the younger one pushed gently against the bowl of soup and the spoon sitting in front of Arthur, but still wasn't looking at him. Arthur didn't know whether the guy wanted to tell him with the gesture that it was okay to eat the soup as well, but that was just too generous.

Arthur just kept looking at the soup and smelled the aromas coming from it. It was tomato soup, but looked nothing like the tomato soup that they served at the soup kitchens, didn't smelled anything like that either. This one smelled and looked far better, tastier. But he didn't know about that last part yet.

"You should try some, it's really good."

Arthur looked up to see the younger man looking at him from the side of his eyes. Arthur finally nodded and picked up his spoon and picked up the tiniest amount of soup to see and taste if it wasn't drugged.

After the first taste of his tongue, Arthur felt himself in heaven. The soup was in no way drugged. It was far too creamy and rich and just melted on his tongue. There were also lots of vegetables in it, and even some tiny meatballs! The soup from the soup kitchens couldn't compete to it.

He was hungry for more, but was afraid to do so. He looked around him. The older man was trying to get the last bits from the bottom of the bowl, and the other boy was dipping some bread into the soup.

"I'm going to be right back." The older man suddenly announced and got up from his chair with his bowl in hand and disappeared through a door that would probably lead to the kitchen.

Arthur slowly turned his head back again, not knowing what to do exactly now. It wasn't like he never saw such situation before. He sometimes saw Owain and his family sitting around the table and eating and talking and laughing, but that never happened in the house he lived in. He was just happy whenever Catrina would give him some food when he was allowed into the house.

"I'm sorry that you don't like the soup." The younger man began. Arthur didn't look up, but frowned when he heard the guy say that, he _loved _that soup. "I have tried my best to make something out of it, and Gaius, the man who just went to the kitchen, always says that I can make a pretty decent soup. Now, you've got to eat something, so do you perhaps want something else? I can cook it for you."

Arthur looked up now, his jaw almost dropping open. This guy just offered to cook anything for him. Catrina would usually give him anything that was expired, or nearly expired.

Arthur knew now that he had insulted the guy by not eating the soup, but he was just so not used to it and he just didn't know what to do. He also realised that he had barely spoken to the guy, but usually it was just easier to have a wall put up than to let anyone see his emotions. "I-I like the soup. Very much actually." He managed to say, finally.

It was like the younger man was waiting for him to say that, because there was another smile appearing and he nodded towards the bowl in front of Arthur. "Well, if you do. What's stopping you from eating?"

"I… don't know."

The guy gave him a soft smile again. "It's okay, really. Eat up. There's plenty more." The guy pointed to the pan that was still in the middle of the table and Arthur tentatively took a mouthful of soup, the second spoon tasted even better than the first one. It didn't took Arthur long before he was already halfway done.

Merlin held up a piece of the bread he put down earlier and waited for Arthur to take it. "The bread is good too, eat it before it turns cold."

Arthur accepted them with a soft, "Thank you." He also wanted to add that he nearly never ate something that was warm and that this meal was one of the best he had ever had, but he didn't knew the guy too well and still didn't know what he and the older man were planning to do with him… or to him, so he kept that bit to himself.

Speaking of the old man, he came back again with three chocolate puddings. He sat one down in front of each of them and Arthur's eyes nearly budged.

"Sweet!" Arthur heard the younger man say, "I love chocolate pudding." The guy turned to him. "Do you?"

Arthur actually didn't know and held up his shoulders. He believes he never had a pudding before. Catrina didn't believe in spending money on treats.

"Merlin stop asking questions, you know that." The older man – no, Gaius – said.

"Sorry." Arthur heard Merlin say.

Arthur heard the lids being pulled off the pudding containers, just as he was finished with his bowl of soup. His stomach was actually cramping already, not being used in eating such large quantities of food, but he couldn't stop himself and reached out for the pudding. He _had _to know how it tasted.

He once had received a piece of chocolate from Owain, but it was nothing like what he tasted now. It was like eating a cloud so soft and light and Arthur nearly moaned, but could stop himself from doing that, but he couldn't stop himself from making an actual smile forming on his face.

"Are- are you okay?" The younger one – Merlin – suddenly asked, putting down his spoon and turning towards him. Arthur didn't know what he was talking about, he felt fine. Arthur pinched his eyebrows slowly together.

"You're crying."

"Merlin!" Gaius admonished.

Arthur had no idea what Merlin meant and put down the now empty container on the table and brought one hand up to touch his face, only then he felt wetness on his cheek. He brought his other hand up too and felt the same thing on his other cheek.

"Happy." Arthur responded soft, because he had no other explanation for his sudden tears. He wasn't sad, so happiness was the only other explanation. He just couldn't fathom how lovely these two persons could be to him and they didn't even knew him! It seemed that they had managed to break down his wall.

"Oh my," Arthur heard Gaius said and then his hand was grabbed by the older man and Arthur felt himself worthy enough to actually look up to Gaius. "I don't know what has happened to you my boy, but you're safe here. You can stay as long as you wish."

Arthur was take back by that statement. Could that man actually be serious? He looked at Merlin, who nodded heavily.

"I-I…"

"Shh," Gaius squeezed his hand lightly. "You don't have to say anything yet, just promise me that you won't walk away."

Arthur nodded before he could catch up on that. It earned him a firm nod of Gaius. "Good," Gaius had said and then stood up and looked at Merlin. "I trust you to take care of him."

"Of course Gaius,"

"Good," Gaius said once more. "Now, I'm ready for bed. Can I trust you Merlin to clean this up… properly this time." He added a bit more firm. Arthur saw Merlin put both his hands on his chest and his mouth opened slightly. "Gaius, I'm _always _proper."

Gaius walked around the table and clapped Merlin a few times on the back. "If I would get a pence every time you said that," Gaius muttered and Arthur couldn't hold back the smallest of smiles when he saw Merlin pout.

"Pff," Merlin muttered, "That old buffoon is just making me look bad." Merlin turned to Arthur. "Maybe, you want to give me a hand…? it's totally fine if you don't want too." Merlin shrugged. "I mean I could use the company."

Before Merlin had even finished his sentence, Arthur had already stood up and was collecting the bowls and spoons. It was the least he could do after receiving such generosity.

Arthur coughed softly as he stood with his hands full with bowls and spoons, "Err, where too?" He asked softly.

"Just through there." Merlin pointed his head to the door where Gaius had gone through earlier, as Merlin was holding the pan of soup in both his hands. Arthur let Merlin lead and he followed.

The kitchen wasn't really big, but big enough to have everything. There was a fridge, cooker, sink, some counters and even a dishwasher!

Arthur set the bowls down on the counter and Merlin went to put the lid on the pan and placing it into the fridge. "So, that's for tomorrow." Merlin said, wringing his hands together.

"Erm, I can do the dishes." Arthur said, soft again. He wasn't ready to speak up just yet. "Just tell me where the soap and sponge are."

He heard Merlin laugh. "We're not having this one," Merlin smacked one hand against the dishwasher, "just to wash the dishes by hand. But, you could rinse and then I'll put them away." Merlin waited for Arthur's nod and saw said man opening the tap. Merlin waited for the dishes to be rinsed off and then accepted them from Arthur before popping them into the dishwasher. As he did so, he tried to get Arthur speaking a little bit more. "So, when we're done with this, what do you want to do?"

Arthur had no answer to that. He had seen on the clock in the kitchen that it was about seven in the evening. Normally he would be still wandering the streets. Arthur shrugged again.

"Maybe we could watch some TV? Or you can first take a shower if you want, and then join me on the couch."

"Err," Arthur had lost his voice again. It seemed all too unreal, like some kind of dream he was currently living in.

Instead Merlin answered for him. "Yeah, a shower is always nice. I think I have some clothes for you that are too big for me, so you can have them if you want." Merlin smiled his already familiar to Arthur smile again and Arthur felt something warm bubble up inside him. He couldn't refuse what had been offered to him, so he only nodded, handing Merlin the last spoon over.

"Excellent." Merlin said, closing the dishwasher. "Here, follow me." Arthur followed Merlin until they stopped in front of a door and Merlin turned to him, holding his hands a bit up. "Now, this is my room and I'm not exactly known for being neat, so keep that in mind."

Arthur didn't know what he had expected, but when the door opened he felt that Merlin was majorly overreacting. Yes, it was a bit unorganized perhaps, but he wouldn't call it messy or anything like it. Not that Arthur would know how a mess would actually look like, his old room had literally three things in it.

Merlin immediately dived under his bed and rummaged a bit under there until he reappeared again with a pair of sweatpants and t-shirt in his hand. He walked back to Arthur and held the shirt out in front of him. "It might fit, hopefully. Here," He thrusts the two pieces in Arthur's hands and then put his thumb and index finger on his chin. "Let's see if I have some underwear for you to wear, I hope you don't mind if it's mine, but it's washed and everything, so it's clean." Merlin actually blushed and Arthur found it funny to see, and shook his head in answer to Merlin's question.

Merlin came back a moment later with a boxer short. "I have worn this like once," Merlin offered as an explanation. "It's as good as new."

"Thank you. Really, this… no one has been this kind to me." Arthur said, and he wasn't sure if he should've said that last bit, but there was nothing he could do now to take it back. It didn't seemed that Merlin was entirely shocked by that expression either, because he offered a warm hand on Arthur's shoulder and held his other hand out. "Shower's this way."

Arthur was actually glad that he didn't had to hear Merlin's pity and followed Merlin gladly to the shower.

"Towels and washcloths are in there," Merlin pointed to a small cabinet. "And you can put your clothes in there." Merlin now pointed to the basket under the sink. "I'll wash them in the morning." Merlin looked around for a moment to see if he had forgotten something, "Oh, and you can lock the door, or not. It's your choice, but just know that no one will come in." He saw Arthur giving him a nod, and he nodded himself. "When you're done, you can just walk back the same way you came here and you'll probably find me on the couch in front of the TV. Do you have anything specific you want to watch?"

Arthur had watched TV only a few times in his life. It was usually in one of the communion centres, but most of the time the news was on and that wasn't something that was sparking Arthur's interest. His own life was miserable enough, he didn't want to carry the weight of the world as well.

"You pick." Arthur said after a few moments and Merlin gave him a nod and a smile again before turning away. "Thank you, Merlin." Arthur said before Merlin closed the door.

"You're welcome, – Oh." Merlin remembered then that he hadn't asked the other guy's name.

Arthur didn't know what name he should give, so he gave the name that everyone else called him. "Rascal," Arthur said. "Call me Rascal."

"Okay. Rascal it is." Merlin smiled broadly and then closed the door.

Arthur stared at the door, and for once in his life he felt that he was actually welcome somewhere.

* * *

><p><em>To be continued.<em>


	3. Chapter 3

When Arthur was done showering (which he made quick because he didn't want to waste precious hot water. That didn't lessen the feeling though that he was almost ready to sell his soul to the devil if he could stand under the shower for just a few moments more, as it felt amazing when the hot water cascaded down on him), he put on the clothes Merlin gave him – the shirt was maybe a tiny tad too small, but nothing too tight and the pants were about his size – and then made his way to the living room where Merlin greeted him with a big smile. Merlin was sitting on the couch, buried underneath a blanket and offered Arthur a different blanket to wrap around himself. He hesitated a moment, but then accepted and sat down on the other side of the couch, he didn't want to invade Merlin's personal space.

They watched some TV show called FRIENDS and Arthur didn't know what to expect, it was the first time he had ever watched a TV show. When the end of the episode neared he was already aching for more and Merlin must've noticed, because that was when Merlin brought out the complete DVD box set and they stayed up until they were both too tired to keep their eyes open. Merlin lead him to the room he first woke up in, and told him that breakfast would be around seven and then wished him a good night before turning the lights off.

When Arthur was lying in the comfortable bed, he didn't know whether he had been dreaming all that had happened to him today, or whether it was actually real.

And then there was the TV show that occupied his thoughts, it was about people living together from what Arthur had gathered, and they had all a different kind of background. One of them was even homeless at some point in her life, but she had survived and her life had turned for the better. If she could do that, he should be able to do it too.

It wasn't long after before his eyes were drifting close.

**~oOoOo~**

Arthur woke up the next morning and felt disorientated of where he was for a moment, but then the memories of the night before came back to him he felt a smile starting to spread over his face. He dressed himself and slowly shuffled to the living slash dining room. He still knocked before entering and kept his head low.

"Ah, Rascal!" Arthur heard Merlin say brightly. "Come, come. We were about to start on our breakfast."

Arthur nodded with his eyes still casted down and shuffled closer to the table and sat down on the spot he sat last night. There was immediately a wicker basket put under his nose that was filled with bread and bread rolls. "Here, take some."

Arthur picked the smallest piece of bread from the lot and thanked Merlin as he put it down on his plate. He was about to tear a piece of it, when he heard Merlin say, "Don't you want to put something on it?"

Arthur finally looked up some more and saw the table being set with all kinds of toppings. There was cheese, eggs, sausages, ham, fruit, chocolate paste, jam, peanut butter… and much much more. Arthur nearly had a panic attack then and there. All those things were just so expensive, he couldn't possibly just _take _some of it!

Merlin gently put his hand over Arthur's when he felt the other guy's mood shift. "Hey, hey. It's okay. In this house you can take what you want."

Arthur shook his head and stood up from the chair as he felt tears spring into his eyes.

"Merlin, stop what you're doing right now." Gaius said sternly. "You're overwhelming him. Remember, take it slow."

Gaius stood up, trying to make as little sounds to not startle the young man even more. He went to gently stand next to Arthur and put a soft hand on Arthur's lower arm. "Come with me, just take a seat for a moment."

Gaius walked up to the couch Arthur sat on last night and patted his hand on the spot next to him. Arthur followed slowly and sat himself down. Merlin had stood up as well and kept repeating, "Rascal, I'm sorry. I didn't mean anything by it. Please – " Merlin stopped when he saw Gaius glare at him.

"Rascal," This time it was Gaius talking, and Arthur barely managed to look up at the man. "I think we owe you an explanation."

Arthur only stared with still teary eyes at the man.

When Gaius got no response in return, he started to explain. "I'm not one for cruelty and my blood boils when I see cruelty being done to other human beings." Arthur cocked his head at that, he didn't know where the man was going with this.

"Merlin and I came back from the market yesterday when we saw you. You were sitting on the cold ground with nothing more around your body than a thin jacket and some slacks. It had been snowing that night and some had fallen on you and I knew I needed to do something. When we were close, and I touched you, you were freezing cold and we couldn't wake you up."

For a moment, Arthur thought they better could've left him there to die, but he quickly pushed that thought away.

"We started to get you warm, managing to give you some tea I carried with me in a thermos and Merlin placed his coat over you. For a moment, I thought we had lost you, but I could still feel your pulse, beating strong under your skin."

During the story, Merlin slowly went to sit down on an armchair next to the couch. He could still remember the dreadful moments where nothing happened and he really _did _fear that Rascal had died during the night. He watched Rascal's reactions carefully and saw him bowing his head down again.

"We brought you back to our house and put you in bed and under the blankets, hoping that it would be enough to warm you up. Luckily it did. I checked on you a few times, but you were just in such a deep sleep that you hadn't noticed me coming in. And I didn't had the heart to wake you up."

"Gaius was a doctor for a long time." Merlin suddenly put in. "He knows what he's talking about."

Arthur looked up to Merlin, and saw him nod heavily and full of conviction.

"Rascal," Gaius said again, making him turn his attention back at Gaius. "We only want to help you. We have done this many times before."

"Oh yes!" Merlin's responded happily, and he plopped down on the couch close to Arthur. He held his hand up and grasped one finger at the time when he started explaining. "First there was some boy named Percy, he was only seventeen and I was like fourteen or something, but he was already _huge _for his age_. _He wasn't really a talker, but friendly nonetheless. Especially if you know what he had been through. We took him in after he ran away from his abusive step-father, and made him feel welcome here. We helped him building up his confidence and helped him in getting a job. He's working at some factory now and has even married." Merlin thought for a moment.

"Oh yes, then there was a twin we helped, Gwen and Elyan. They had just lost their father by some freakish accident we still don't know all the details from. They were barely eighteen at the time and the country was still in recession, so we offered our home and food to them. In return they helped with the shop. Oh yes, forgot to tell that haven't I? Gaius has a small pharmacy, it's just next door. Anyways, they're now living in the countryside and working in some care home. They sometimes come to visit."

Arthur only said, "Oh," as Merlin took a second to actually breathe. He wanted to believe them with all his heart, but his whole life, people had only been friendly to him because they wanted something in return. He just didn't know whether or not Gaius and Merlin would fall in that category as well.

Merlin happily continued with his small lists of names, but Arthur could hardly remember each and every one of them, especially since some only stayed a few days and other stayed a few months. But if what Merlin was telling him was true, than he and Gaius really did _not _fall in the category of wanting something in return.

"Alright Merlin, that's enough talking from you right now." Gaius said, raising one eyebrow high enough to immediately silence the eagerly talkative Merlin. Merlin huffed in response and hearing that made Arthur crack a really small smile on his lips.

Gaius turned his attention to the boy sitting next to him. "Really Rascal, we only want to help you. It's of course your own decision if you want to stay or not, but just know that you are welcome here. We don't know what happened to you, but I think we can both say that your life hasn't been what you've been expecting it to be."

Arthur casted his eyes down, he wasn't ready to tell them about his life yet. He felt a hand being put on his shoulder and he looked up to Gaius again.

"Rascal, we don't expect nor pressure you to tell us what has happened to you, only if you want to share that information yourself. We just want to help you get your life back together."

Arthur swallowed in his dry throat, then he heaved a deep sigh. "B-but, I don't have any money to repay you." He was immediately answered by a wave of Gaius' hand.

"Nonsense, my boy. I really don't need anything in return, and I really hope you will start taking our word for that. If you want, you can of course help in the shop, but really, I don't seek any payment from you for staying here. _I_ offered it to you after all, it would be a bit arrogant from me to suddenly ask you for something in return, wouldn't it?"

Arthur held up his shoulders and answered softly, "It's all I ever knew."

"Well, in this house it isn't going to be like that." Arthur could hear that Gaius was getting a bit frustrated.

"Gaius, mind your blood pressure," Merlin offered in a joke.

"And you mind that mouth of yours." Gaius responded sharply, but cracked into a laugh soon after. He recollected himself shortly after. "Now, let's eat some breakfast."

Breakfast went better after their talk and Arthur managed to spread a thin layer of peanut butter on his slice of bread, as he knew that that was the cheapest of everything that was on the table. Gaius had been raising an eyebrow in disagreement, but hadn't voiced his thoughts about it.

Merlin however was a bit more bold and chucked half of his own sausage on Arthur's plate with the excuse that he was too full to finish a whole. Arthur knew what Merlin was trying to do, but still ate the sausage because he didn't want to disappoint the two persons even more.

After breakfast, Arthur helped with the dishes and filled up the dishwasher. There were still the dirty dishes from last night in it, and with the dirty dishes of the breakfast, it was now full. Merlin taught Arthur how the machine worked and Arthur was feeling like he was actually useful for once and was proud of his accomplishment when he managed to get the dishwasher working.

Gaius then gave Merlin some instructions about doing deliveries of some prescriptions and Merlin asked if Arthur wanted to help him with that. Arthur was eager to accept that, as he felt he would be of use once again. They both followed Gaius to the pharmacy next door, just like Merlin had told him, and waited for Gaius to open up.

Merlin went behind the counter and through the swinging door and Arthur dutifully followed.

"Look," Merlin said, after having started up the computer and the screen flashed on. Arthur curiously peeked over Merlin's shoulder to see a list of names and addresses. "This list we need to finish before, hmm, twelve-ish." Merlin turned around on his swivel chair and Arthur took a step back. "I really appreciate you being here, you know. It could be tedious sometimes to only spent time with the old man."

"_Hey, I heard that!" _Came the sudden reply from the other side of the door.

"Good!" Merlin yelled back, "At least I know your hearing is well enough then!" He snorted at his own response and Arthur felt something bubbling inside him again.

"Are – are you and your father always like that?" Arthur asked, his voice still a little bit soft.

Merlin chocked on air so it seemed and then pulled a face as if he smelled something really awful. He held his hand out and put it around Arthur's wrist. "Will you _never _say something horrible like _that_ again?"

Arthur started to panic for a moment, but then saw Merlin laugh to the point that there were tears coming from his eyes. Merlin wiped them away after catching his breath. "Wuh!" He coughed once to clear his throat.

"Gaius isn't my father." Merlin said after a moment of silence and Arthur's brow creased. "Gaius is… more like an uncle to me." Merlin turned more serious and began to explain. "My parents had always been good friends of Gaius and I knew the man since I was little. Then, my mum got sick when I was about five and she died just a few days after my sixth birthday." Merlin did got a little quieter, nothing like the bubbly guy that Arthur had seen the past day.

Merlin inhaled deeply. "My father was heartbroken and few believe that he actually died of a broken heart. He died just a few weeks after mum had died. I was still too young at that time to understand what was really going on, but all I knew was that my mum and dad weren't there anymore to kiss me good night." Merlin shrugged as if that would've made it all well, but Arthur believed it to be a defence mechanism to not show too many feelings. After all, he used that motion a lot of times to hide his own feelings.

"Gaius had taken me in and has been my guardian ever since. He's pretty much the only parent I can still remember, but yeah, I see him more as an uncle than anything else. And what he does for other people is just wonderful and that's also why I'm so driven to help out other people that can't do anything about their own situation. It's the least I can do… and I love doing it."

The bright smile returned back at Merlin's face and he swivelled back to look at the screen again, quickly changing the subject. "Okay, so first we'll have to look for Mrs. Finna's prescription. It should be on one of those shelves." Merlin pointed to some shelves on the wall packed with labelled paper bags as he stood up from his chair. Arthur caught his hand before he let Merlin walk off.

"I'm sorry to hear about your parents," Arthur said, his voice growing a bit stronger, and he also placed his other hand over Merlin's. Merlin gave him a lopsided smile and a nod.

"Thank you."

**~oOoOo~**

Merlin drove the brightly yellow Vauxhall Adam with the pharmacy's logo through the busy London traffic on their way to the first address. It had taken Arthur and Merlin about half an hour to find all the fifteen prescriptions and to figure out the fastest and most efficient route they could take. Since Arthur didn't had a licence, he happily agreed for Merlin to take the wheel.

Three hours later, they had finally finished delivering all the bags to their users and Merlin now drove them to the library, because he loved that place and he felt that the mall might be a bit too much for Arthur.

"I like to come here some time." Merlin said as they entered the building. It was Saturday, so there weren't that many people around. Merlin took Arthur to the third floor and crashed down onto one of the sofas. "It's just - I don't know, it's just so calm in here. Nothing like the rush, people seem to have these days."

Arthur could only agree, it did feel peaceful in here. He never dared to walk in here once he saw the security guard. It was stupid, now he thinks about it, because on their way in they were greeted heartedly by that very same guard. Arthur looked around him for a bit and then his eyes fell on the neglected piano not that far away from them. He didn't know why, but he felt sort of drawn to it.

"Rascal?" Merlin called when he saw Rascal walk away from him. He stood up as well and walked after him. When he saw where Rascal was headed, he slowed his pace and just watched him. He saw Rascal sitting down on the stool and placing his hands on the keys, but Arthur didn't play something.

Slowly, Merlin walked forward and leaned one elbow on the piano. "You play then?" Merlin asked, but saw Rascal shook his head no.

Arthur took his hands off the keys and instead plays some random keys with one finger. There wasn't really a melody or technique behind it, Merlin noticed. He pushed himself off the piano and went to sit on the stool next to Arthur. "Now, I'm no Mozart, but I know a few songs."

Merlin began playing and Arthur watched in awe as the piano produced sounds that actually were coherent. He heard that Merlin was playing some child song, but he had forgotten the name of it.

"Can you teach me?" Arthur asked when Merlin was finished playing the short song. He heard Merlin breathe a laugh.

"I'm not exactly teacher material." Merlin offered as an explanation.

"Oh, please?" Arthur didn't know why the sudden infatuation to the instrument. Maybe the knowledge of his mother being a pianist had changed something in him… not that he would like to be remembered about that horrible woman who had given him up and not telling his father about it.

"Well, okay then." Merlin began and stood up, only to walk to a nearby computer. "I might find some basic sheet music that we could use to teach you. But don't be sad if you can't do it in one try. It took me like, err, five weeks to play that song I just played, and then my teacher was pretty much fed up with me." Merlin laughed again, a bit harder this time. "Needless to say, I didn't made a career out of it." Merlin turned back to the screen and rattled some keys of the keyboard. It took a few moments, but then Merlin said, "Ah, this is what I'm looking for."

He clicked a few times with his mouse and then stood up to walk to the printer and came back to the piano with a few sheets of paper and set them down on the music desk. Merlin sat down again and first looked to his side to Arthur and then pointed to some black symbol on the paper. Arthur had no idea what it meant.

"This is called a note, this particular one is an A." Merlin shuffled through the papers until he found the one he was looking for and placed them next to the paper with the note on. On the new paper were piano keys illustrated, but all had a letter on them. Merlin pointed to the key that had the A on it. "See, that key is called an A, and if the note is an A, then you have to play the key with the same letter. You understand that?"

It took Arthur a few times of repeating that sentence in his head, but he finally understood it and nodded his head.

"Good," Merlin said. "But first, let's begin at the start and look at the keys. You see at that picture," Merlin pointed to the paper that had the piano keys with letters printed on them and then back to the actual piano. He pressed down on one key. "This one is called the middle C, because well… it's about in the middle. The more you go to the left, the lower the tone and the more you go to the right the higher."

Merlin continued to explain the basics about notes and pitches and kept asking if Arthur understood everything he said. Which he did.

Arthur actually didn't know why Merlin said he wasn't a good teacher, because honestly, Arthur thought he was great! Maybe it also had to do with the fact that Arthur was very eager to learn to play the piano and loved the feeling of the keys under his fingers, it was like his fingers danced over them.

In the end, he could already play the first three lines of _Mary had a little lamb_ (the song he couldn't remember the name of earlier) without even looking at the music sheet and Merlin was impressed.

"Wow Rascal, you, wow. All that in just," Merlin looked at his watch. "An hour! Bravo. You must have a talent for it." Merlin did a mini applause that made Arthur blush shyly. "You know," Merlin began again, "We have a piano back home as well, only it's been gathering dust since I'm pretty much banned from playing it. Gaius couldn't take it anymore after had heard me play Mary had a little lamb for twenty times in a row." Merlin barked a laugh. "But, we might persuade him in allowing us, or well you, to use it again."

"Oh. Oh, I don't think… no, that's too much Merlin."

"Nonsense." Merlin smiled brightly. "A talent like yours has to be kept alive. Come," Merlin stood up and gathered up the papers. "We should head back home for lunch anyways."

Arthur swallowed. He really enjoyed playing the piano, something inside him just broke free as it seemed and he could lose himself in the music, in the soft tones. He didn't want to stop with it, but he also didn't want to be a burden to Gaius.

**~oOoOo~**

Merlin _did _manage to persuade Gaius after they ate their lunch. In fact the man thought it to be a brilliant idea to hear someone skilfully play the piano for once (Merlin did scowl a bit at that, which only made Arthur laugh). Arthur was tentative at first when the lid was lifted off the piano that was tucked away in one of the spare rooms, and Gaius mentioned that it probably needed tuning. But Arthur forget about all that when he placed his fingers down at the keys again, it was like he could forget the world for just a few moments.

He practiced with the sheets Merlin had given them and he could remember all the A to G keys by heart at the end of the afternoon. Gaius had popped his head in a few times and complimented him with his learning skills and it only made Arthur's confidence grow.

When it was time for dinner, Merlin asked Arthur if he wanted to help him. Arthur was apprehensive at first, because he would have to part from the piano, but his mind kept telling him that he had to do something to thank Gaius and Merlin for letting him stay in their house. He helped Merlin with peeling the potatoes, making sure he wouldn't cut his fingers, but in the end he managed to keep all ten fingers.

Merlin waited for some carrots to boil and was simultaneously searing some meat on the stove. Aromas filled the kitchen and Arthur told Merlin that _he _was the one with talent in the kitchen. Merlin beamed at him and Arthur felt himself blushing for no apparent reason.

"If you could set the table, then that would be great Rascal." Merlin asked slash ordered, as he was stirring in the boiling pot.

Arthur nodded and grabbed three plates and cutlery out of the cabinet and drawer Merlin pointed too. He had stacked everything together and was holding the small tower of crockery and cutlery carefully in-between his hands. Just before he would leave the kitchen he stopped and turned.

"Arthur," Arthur said and Merlin turned to him.

"Hmm?"

Arthur managed to put on a small smile. "My name's Arthur." He didn't wait for Merlin's response and fled out of the kitchen to set the table. Revealing his real name felt like a huge weight was falling off him.

When he entered the living room, he put the plates and cutlery down on the table. Gaius was sitting there reading the paper, and gave him a nod before he resumed reading the newspaper. Arthur silently set the plates out and kept looking at Gaius, the man was something he hadn't come across too often in his life. He really was selfless and didn't want anything in return. Arthur still felt though that he should give him something, but he had no idea what. And it wasn't like he had the money to buy something.

Maybe – maybe he could give Gaius his real name too. It would only be fair, as he had just told Merlin it. It would come out sooner or later after all.

Arthur placed the last knife down next to Gaius' plate and then he stood still, just watching Gaius. The man might be older, but his senses were still sharp and he noticed Arthur looking at him within five seconds. He closed the paper and put it down on the ground. Then he pointed to the chair Arthur usually sat on. Arthur immediately complied with the man's silent command.

"Do you want to say anything, Rascal?" Gaius spoke softly and Arthur admired that from the man. Arthur nodded.

"You can tell me anything, I won't judge."

Arthur licked his lips and first looked down. It was just his first instinct on what to do, but he knew he had to stop that. Ever so slowly he lifted his head. "I, er, I just told Merlin my name."

Gaius didn't gave an answer to that, he just nodded and folded his hands together and let them rest on the table.

"And, I, eh, I want you to know it as well." Arthur licked his bottom lip only this time. "It's – eh, it's Arthur." The left side of his mouth lifted up in a small lopsided smile when he saw the man opposite of him smile broadly to him.

"I'm glad you shared that with me, Arthur."

Arthur breathed a laugh when he heard his name being said by Gaius, it just seemed right. He couldn't stop smiling as he stood up. "I better go check on Merlin."

Gaius gave a short nod at that. "Yes, you better check if he doesn't set fire to it."

"I will, Gaius." Arthur nodded heavily. "I will make sure of that."

"You look happy." Merlin mentioned when Arthur came back into the kitchen. He was just draining the pot of its water and the steam that was released was enough to fog the kitchen window. Merlin set the pot back on the stove and turned to face Arthur properly who still stood in the middle of the kitchen, smiling broadly.

"I am happy." Arthur said, feeling confident enough to share that with Merlin.

"Good," Merlin answered. "I'm happy that you're happy. Come on, let's eat."

**~oOoOo~**

In the two months that followed, Arthur learnt to share a bit more about his life; like his birthday, his favourite colour, any why he was being called Rascal (because as a child he was quite the rascal and the name just stuck with him), and some other menial things. He had also told them about Catrina, or well, told them that she was his guardian, but still kept the abuse and sexual services to himself. Arthur suspected that Gaius and Merlin knew about the sex, especially if they would think back about the first night he was with them, but thankfully they never brought it up and kept their word that they wouldn't force Arthur to tell them anything unless he wanted to himself.

His piano skills had skyrocketed and Merlin had printed out more advanced sheet music, but even those weren't hard for him anymore. Gaius had even offered him to sign him up for a musical competition, but Arthur was too scared and too self-conscious to perform in front of an audience and had kindly declined the offer.

Over the last two months, his and Merlin's friendship became closer and he felt like Merlin was the closest thing he could have that would somewhat resemble a soul mate. Merlin had taught him some basic maths and advanced reading on Arthur's request, as he only had some lower education. Even though he was already sixteen, (going on seventeen) and wasn't compulsory any more, Gaius still offered to enroll him into school, but Arthur declined that. He didn't want that Gaius would spent money on him and he wasn't sure if he could cope with being in a classroom with other students.

He still appreciated the small lessons Merlin gave him and he felt like he became smarter. Especially since he could actually talk about some of the topics now, that Gaius and Merlin often spoke about. He still worked together with Merlin at the pharmacy and with the deliveries and came to know a few of the regular customers, who had started to fatten him up a little bit.

He got some amount of money from Gaius who told him to buy some clothes of his own, since he couldn't continue wearing Merlin's hand me downs. Especially not since his body was starting to change and the fact that he was still growing. Arthur had cried when he got five notes of twenty Pounds thrust into his hands and he had held it out in front of him, begging Gaius to take it back. But, obviously, Gaius refused to do so.

Gaius, despite Arthur's multiple refusals, also had set up a bank account for him and paid him for his services in the pharmacy. Despite his initials refusal, he was happy now that he earning money that he could keep, but he was already planning to buy something suitable for Gaius as a thank you for all he had done for him in the past months.

He had tried cooking a few times, but that resulted in the fire alarm going off and Merlin wafting a towel towards the kitchen window to get the smoke out. After it happened three times, he had told the duo that it would be best if Merlin would do the cooking and then he would do the cleaning.

They fell into an easy routine and Arthur finally felt ready to reveal another big secret he was carrying, quite literally. He waited until dinner that night and had been feeling nervous about it all day long. Gaius and Merlin noticed the change in him, but didn't said anything. They wanted Arthur to come to them, not the other way around.

The two of them continued their day like any other day, but secretly hoped that whatever Arthur had on his mind, would tell them soon. And now, while they were chewing the beans, it seemed like Arthur was ready to talk.

"There's – something I'd like to show you." Arthur had suddenly said and both Gaius as Merlin had put down their spoons and brought their attention to him. They didn't say anything, but Arthur knew that they were listening. He brought his hands up to his neck and unclasped the lock of the necklace around his neck that he hadn't removed since the day he got it.

He held the necklace with locket up for a few seconds, before setting it down onto the table. Merlin and Gaius' eyes followed it and looked at it for a moment or two before they brought their attention to Arthur again. Merlin gave him an encouraging smile.

"It's, ehm… the locket contains the pictures of my parents. Catrina gave it to me just a few moments before she died. She said to look for them, but I couldn't. I don't know why."

Merlin moved his hand forward and grasped Arthur's hand softly in his own.

Arthur opened and closed his mouth a few times, not knowing how to continue exactly. Didn't know _what_ he could tell more about them, because he knew hardly anything about his parents himself. "Catrina told me that my mother had handed me over when I was just a baby and told me that she didn't even told my father about me, so I don't know if I want to find my mother." Arthur inhaled deeply. "But I might be able to find my father. I don't know what he will do or say _if _I even manage to find him, but it's just something I need to do to close that chapter in my life."

Gaius nodded in understanding and Merlin tightened his grip to give Arthur some kind of support. Arthur blew out a large amount of air and tugged his hand out of Merlin's. Then his hands went to the small locket and he opened it and placed it back on the table.

Merlin and Gaius were both curious to see who the two people were that had abandoned Arthur, and when they did, they slowly looked up to each other with their mouths open and their eyes full of shock. At least, with that expression they turned to Arthur and Arthur felt himself shrink away under their stare.

"Th-th-that's my son." Gaius spoke, still in shock and pointed to the man on the picture.

* * *

><p><strong>Just know that I never ever <strong>**had a piano lesson ****in my life, so if I bullshit some things, blame the internet.**


	4. Chapter 4

"Y-your, son? But that means that you are my …" Arthur blinked and then looked at Gaius like he was seeing him for the first time. He couldn't quite believe it, Gaius was his grandfather. Or, well, if the man in the picture was indeed Gaius' son. But, that couldn't be. Gaius never mentioned children of his own before, nor had a relative of his been visiting in the two months he has been there.

Gaius nodded slowly. His shock was gingerly dying down, but still there. He couldn't believe that his son, Uther, had a child of his own. He briefly wondered why Uther hadn't contacted him about that, because despite the issues between them, he would at least expect that Uther wouldn't keep it from him. But then he remembered what Arthur had said; that his mother –whoever it was- hadn't told Uther that she was pregnant.

"That _is _my son." Gaius confirmed once more and then stood up to walk to one of the drawer cabinets. Gaius came back with a heavy looking photo album, he flicked through it a little bit and then turned the book to Arthur to let him see the photo he stopped on. The man in the picture looked exactly like the man in Arthur's locket. No, Arthur confirmed to himself after spending some more seconds looking at it, that man _is_ the same man as the picture in his locket. Arthur looked back up to Gaius, expecting answers from unasked questions.

Gaius felt the need to explain a situation he didn't really understand himself and sat down with a heavy sigh. "That is my son, Uther Pendragon. Does that name say anything to you?" He asked Arthur, but Arthur shook his head. He had never heard that name in his life.

Gaius inhaled deeply and Merlin went to stand behind the man as support. "I haven't seen my son in over twenty years." Gaius finally said after a heavy silence. Arthur frowned at that revelation. Here was Gaius, the man who wanted to fix broken families, or at least tried to help people of broken situations, and the man himself couldn't even fix his own family.

Still, he was intrigued to know more about the man that ultimately was his father. "What happened?"

Arthur heard Gaius sigh deeply once more and then saw him shaking his head and rubbing his forehead.

"I don't even know anymore. We've always had trouble seeing eye to eye but in the end we just, _clashed_. I wanted him to extend the long family line of doctors, but he told me that he wanted to live his own life and decide his own career. There were some other minor things I suppose, but really it's been too long ago to remember _what _exactly it was that made situation get out of hand. One day he had just packed up all his stuff and just _left_, and all I got for a goodbye was a letter that said that he left."

Merlin placed his hand on top of his guardian's shoulder. He knew that deep down, Gaius still blamed himself for his son's leaving.

"Haven't you tried to find him?" Arthur softly asked.

Gaius tensed and his eyes flicked up. "Of course I tried to find him!" Arthur's eyes widened and he shrank back into his chair. Merlin tightened his grip on Gaius' shoulder and Gaius relaxed a bit again. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't attack you."

"It's… okay." Arthur managed to say. This was obviously a delicate subject for Gaius.

Gaius inhaled deeply through his nose. "I've tried all his friends, and even reported him as missing to the police after a few days, but they told me that they couldn't do anything since Uther left on his own accord and was already an adult." Gaius scoffed softly, then muttered something too soft for Arthur to understand.

"After about a year of intense searching, I gave up. He obviously didn't wanted to be found. It's just – I just wanted him to have contacted me, just once. Just so I knew that he was alright." Gaius shook his head, "But even that seemed to be too much to ask for."

There fell a heavy silence in the small group, which Arthur broke by softly saying, "Miss Tregor told me that he went to America, something about wanting to make a better life for himself."

"America? Are you sure she said that?"

Arthur held his shoulders up. "I'm quite positive."

Gaius ran a wrinkled hand through his hair. "He's always had this fascination with that country. The country of big dreams so they say. But I wonder how he got there, he didn't had any money."

Arthur frowned. "Didn't you say that you were a doctor, don't they – you know – make lots of money?"

In spite of the seriousness of the situation, Gaius let out a soft laugh. "Can't say I hadn't. But, Uther didn't take any of his trust fund, explained in his letter that he wanted a clean break from me and start on his own from the start. I just wished he'd taken it, I would know he wouldn't be in need for money then." Gaius sighed once more.

"Merlin, hand me the laptop." Gaius said after a pregnant silence

With knitted brows, Merlin complied and put the laptop in front of the man. "What are you going to do, Gaius?" Merlin asked, curious to see why the man needs the laptop for, seeing that Gaius usually can't get along with everything that is even remotely automatic.

"Buying a ticket to America to find my son. It's time we bury the hatchet." Gaius said, and the determination was dripping from his voice.

**~oOoOo~**

Arthur had been gobsmacked that Gaius would go to a foreign country just like that, with no information or clues to go on. He didn't know particular much about the USA, but he knew that it was flipping huge! It wouldn't be an easy task to find one man in such a large area, but it seemed that Gaius had an idea on where to go too… even though he described the idea as 'a hunch'.

It all had been going so fast. Gaius had booked the flight and then applied for a VISA and within three weeks he was granted access. He would leave the week after.

Arthur's head kept spinning with all that was happening and in the weeks that Gaius needed to get permission, he was playing the piano almost the whole day. It seemed that that was the only thing that could calm him down and to forget for a few moments what was actually happening in his life right now.

The morning of Gaius' leave for the coming two months was tense. The usually calm and relaxing breakfast was now clouded over by mixed feelings and no one said a thing. Then at ten am, Gaius, Merlin and Arthur left for the airport and after a tight hug from his grandfather, waved him off. Their relationship had grown a lot stronger after Gaius knew about Arthur's true parentage, although Gaius still had no idea who the girl was that's Arthur's mother. Arthur had only said that her name was Ygraine du Bois, but he didn't recognized that name.

Gaius had left Merlin instructions for the pharmacy and left Merlin in charge, since he was a full skilled pharmacist himself and Gaius had been training him to act as manager for the past month now.

Gaius promised to keep in contact the best as he could, but warned them that if they wouldn't hear from him, that it could be from his lack of skills with technology. Something that made Merlin crack up in laughter.

The drive back from the airport was still tense, but once Merlin and Arthur were back in the house, Merlin broke that tension when he slipped two tickets over to Arthur.

Arthur looked at them with a cocked head. "What's this?"

"Just look." Merlin bit his lip to not break out in a too big of a smile. He watched as Arthur's eyes fell on the words spelled on the ticket and when Arthur looked back up at him he couldn't hold back his smile anymore.

"Happy early birthday?" Merlin said with his shoulders hauled up high. "I know your birthday is still two weeks away, but I thought, with all that has been happening the past month, you could use a night out and forget about it for a moment. And since you love the piano so much, I thought it was a fitting gift."

"But – " Arthur shook his head, "Merlin this is too much. These must've cost a fortune!"

"Oh hush," Merlin replied with a wave of his hand. "It's not like they are _great _seats, boy _those _were costing a fortune. Apparently this _Allissandra Qussaint_ is a great pianist, although I've never really heard of her, and well, I thought you might enjoy it." Merlin smiled while shrugging.

"I _love _it." Arthur said, his voice rising with excitement. This would be his opportunity to see and hear a real maestro at work. He looked at the tickets and noticed that the date was just two days away. Immediately his eyes widened and he looked back up to Merlin. "Oh god, what do you wear to such thing?"

**~oOoOo~**

The car came to a stop in front of the rickety apartment building. The driver got out and opened the passenger door, where a woman in sharp clothes sat. She got out and looked up at the building, "Are you _sure _this is the right address?"

"According to the street sign and GPS, yes, Miss Qussaint."

The woman inhaled deeply, it had been too long already that she had been parted from her son, and the earlier leads brought her nowhere. She originally went to the apartment building she left her child at nearly seventeen years ago, but the building had been closed because of danger of collapsing and she was directed to another one. When she came to that one, she had been sent to another one and people from there finally directed her to this one. If this wouldn't be the right one, she didn't know what to do.

The woman nodded to the driver, and after a short instruction of, "Stay here." She went into the building and stopped the first person she saw.

"Excuse me, sir. Do you know where I can find Miss Tregor, eh, Catrina?"

"Who?" The man huffed. "Oh wait, yes, Catrina. Well she's been dead for months now." The man responded coldly and uninterested. He was about to continue his walk, but was stopped by the woman with a hand on his arm. "And the boy?" She asked frantic.

The man gave a one shouldered shrug, "What boy? Miss, there have been so many boys living in this building during the years, that I lost count." After a beat of silence the man said, "If you'd excuse me, I have more things to do." He started to climb up the stairs and left the woman standing alone in the hallway with her heart shattered in a million pieces.

She slowly went back to the door and to the car. "Take me away from here." She mumbled to her driver and went to sit in the car with her head buried into her hands, not caring that her driver saw her in this state. She just wished she would've came sooner, perhaps – perhaps her son would still be there. _If _he had been there to begin with, the man didn't sound very convincing that there was a boy living with Catrina.

Oh god, what has she done.

"Miss Qussaint, shall I take you back to the manor?"

"Yes," She answered, looking out of the window. Then she murmured, "Arthur where are you?" To herself.

**~oOoOo~**

"So, good thing we both found a dress jacket." Merlin said when he and Arthur walked back from the shopping centre. It was a place had found himself quite often before the last three months. "We can't show up in our old clobber at the concert."

Arthur snorted, "Seriously, where do you even find those words."

Merlin looked smug, "In my amazing vocabulary." It earned him an eye roll from Arthur.

_"__Hey, Rascal_." There followed a short whistle.

Arthur froze and Merlin stopped to look at him. Arthur hoped that Merlin hadn't heard it, but that hope was shattered when Merlin asked, "You know him?" He jerked his head to the side and when Arthur looked that way, he confirmed that it was indeed Tristan that had been calling him.

Arthur swallowed heavily. After three months of somewhat getting his life together, he couldn't have it torn away from him by one man. That, and Merlin couldn't find out what he and Tristan had been doing for about two years. Merlin couldn't know that he was _whoring _himself to that man.

"Rascal, seriously. Come on. I missed you." Tristan pushed himself off the wall and started to walk to the pair.

Arthur began to shake. Merlin noticed and put a hand on Arthur's arm. "We can leave now if you want." Merlin whispered.

Arthur didn't know what to do anymore, his brain just collapsed on itself and nothing coherent was going through Arthur's head anymore. He just looked between Merlin and the nearing Tristan. His breathing picked up and he felt like he was choking. It was all just too much.

"Stay away from him!"

Arthur felt himself being dragged away, he didn't know by who. His breathing came in wheezes now and all he wanted to do was to collapse then and there.

He was pushed with his back against the wall and then a face swam into his vision, and only when those bright blue eyes caught his, did he knew that Merlin had dragged him away. Arthur felt hands on his face and heard Merlin's soft voice. "Take it slow. Deep breaths now." Arthur tried his best to follow Merlin's instructions. "Good, good."

It took Arthur about a minute to get his breathing under control and to assess what had just happened. He knew that he would ran into old clients of his someday, but he hadn't expected it to have this kind of effect on him. Perhaps it was the fact that Merlin was with him now, and that he was still apprehensive to let Merlin, and Gaius, know about that part of his past life.

"Arthur, it's okay. He hasn't followed us." Merlin gently carded his fingers through Arthur's hair and it actually made Arthur more calm and relaxed. He could focus properly again because of that.

"I'm so sorry."

Merlin embraced him. "Arthur, you have nothing to be sorry for."

* * *

><p><strong>So this chapter was a little short compared to the other chapters of this story, but it's just a bit of a fill-in  start up for the next chapter. Bear with me. **

**And for once, I just picked a name that didn't had a meaning, or at least not related to this story. It were just the first two names that popped into my head.**


	5. Chapter 5

As soon as Merlin and Arthur came back home, Arthur went to sit behind the piano to play his stress away. He was thankful that Merlin didn't press the subject of him telling what was going on, but was happy that Merlin gently guided him home without any questions being asked.

Arthur of course wasn't stupid, he knew that Merlin must have a good solid confirmation about his previous life now, but it was just impossible for him to get the words over his lips about him whoring himself for money. All in good time, Arthur kept telling himself.

Merlin came into the room a few minutes later to plant a steaming cup of tea on the nearby table and left after giving Arthur a squeeze on his shoulder. Arthur appreciated what Merlin was doing and he couldn't wish himself for a better friend.

He was playing _Claire de lune_ from Debussy with the help of the music sheet, it was the only song that could calm him down. Sure, he had only been playing the piano for about three months now and he was still very much learning the workings of the instrument. And he couldn't perhaps play the faster pieces of this particular song very well yet, but he still managed to let it sound like the original song. Especially when he would play the slower parts of the song.

When he was playing the piano, his mind just cleared up and when he would close his eyes he would find himself in another world where there were no problems or histories. Somewhere where he could be himself, with no one looking at him or questioning him. It was totally bliss.

**~oOoOo~**

Merlin came into the room some time later to announce that lunch was ready. Arthur went to sit at the table and there fell a heavy silence. He could see that Merlin was anxious to ask him about what had just happened a few hours ago, but Merlin didn't actually asked it.

Then, Arthur couldn't take it anymore and put his knife down a bit too loudly and Merlin not yet jumped up. It might not be the exact setting he had in mind for when he would tell Merlin about his past, but he couldn't take this awkwardness anymore for Christ's sake!

With a deep sigh and an almost growl, Arthur blurted it out. "That, was a former client of mine okay. There, I said it. I was a prostitute for almost three years, I had too. I needed to get the money from somewhere. There, you happy you know it now?"

Arthur didn't wait for Merlin to answer, but ran out of the house. He didn't want to see the pity in Merlin's eyes, he really _really _didn't need to see that.

"_Arthur!" _

Arthur slowed down a little bit and looked over his shoulder. It was hard to see because it was raining now, but he was pretty sure that it was Merlin calling him. But he just didn't want to face Merlin right now and continued running.

"Arthur wait," Merlin yelled as he tried to catch up with Arthur, but the other man was faster than he was, and the pouring rain didn't made it any easier. It didn't make him give up on catching up with Arthur though, and when he saw that Arthur had to stop for a red traffic light, he renewed his efforts.

"Arthur," Merlin grabbed the man's arm just as the red light jumped to green. Arthur looked down at the hand grasping his arm and was contemplating whether or not to shake it off. He decided against it, and with slumped shoulders turned around to look at Merlin.

The rain had made his whole clothes wet and it clung to him uncomfortably. His hair wasn't styled anymore and hung partially in front of his eyes. Merlin reached his hand up and brushed some of his hair away… and Arthur let him. It felt so caring and comforting, not pity-like at all, and he still had to get used to the feeling that someone actually cared about him.

"Arthur," Merlin began, but he didn't know what to say to him.

"Arthur come back to the house, you're shivering!" Merlin's arms went up and down at Arthur's arms, trying to get him somewhat warm, but it was just a futile attempt with the rain still pouring down at them.

"Arthur, please." Merlin begged when Arthur didn't make any motion to come back with Merlin. "Arthur, I'm sorry for what has happened to you." Merlin began, trying to get the man to listen to him. He cradled a soft hand against Arthur's cheek and made him look into his eyes. "I can't make your past go away and I don't blame you. You did what you could to survive."

Arthur averted his eyes away and Merlin dropped his hand to Arthur's hand, gently grabbing it in his own. "Arthur please come back to the house, if you want, we don't ever talk about this anymore." There was a small pause before Merlin added, "But I'm glad you told me."

Arthur looked briefly up to Merlin's eyes. He could always tell the true feeling someone had, just by looking into their eyes. And Merlin's eyes didn't looked full of pity, perhaps there was a sliver of it, but thinking about it, he couldn't blame Merlin. To hear that someone you call a friend was whoring himself, must've been a shock to hear that.

It also didn't help the fact that Arthur got certain feelings for the raven haired man since a few weeks, and he didn't know how to deal with those feelings. He didn't really know what those feelings were really implying if he had to be honest.

And he was just so used to people not caring about him, that he didn't know _how _to react to people who actually did. The only thing he was good at, was to push those people away, while he in fact had to cherish those people.

But finally, Arthur nodded and he immediately felt a tug at his hand from Merlin, pulling him away from there and towards their home.

**~oOoOo~**

When they came back into the house, Merlin had turned on the shower and pushed Arthur into the bathroom. Merlin then changed into some dry clothes, he had put on his jacket before he went out so he wasn't as wet as Arthur was.

Fifteen minutes later, Arthur came into the living room and Merlin looked up to him from his place on the couch. He had turned FRIENDS on, since Arthur took a liking to that show, and was now holding the blanket up that he had put over himself. Arthur took the invitation and snuggled close to Merlin. Something they had come to do a lot over the past months and something he didn't mind doing at all.

Merlin tugged the blanket closer over Arthur and then looked back to the TV without saying a word Arthur beside asking if he was comfortable enough (which Arthur replied to he was). He would keep his promise and not talk about Arthur's past, until Arthur would tell it him himself.

It were thirty minutes later that Merlin looked down next to him and saw that Arthur had fallen asleep against his shoulder and had his arm slung over Merlin's stomach. A soft smile appeared on Merlin's face and he raked his fingers through Arthur's soft golden hair. Arthur was only about a year younger than himself, but Arthur looked so young right now, and then to think of what he had been through in his still young life. Merlin had to keep his emotions at bay, or he would probably burst out in anger and tears right there and then.

He stayed sitting there a few moment more, before quietly slipping out from underneath Arthur. Apparently not quietly enough, since it earned him some grumbling from Arthur and Arthur trying to keep him close, but Merlin managed to get free and made sure that there would be a small cushion under Arthur's head and that the blanket was covering him completely.

Just a few moments after Merlin had slipped into the kitchen, Arthur softly whimpered, "Merlin…", in his sleep.

**~oOoOo~**

Merlin didn't had the heart to wake Arthur up when it was time for dinner, he just looked so peaceful in his sleep, there was even a smile on his lips. Something that Merlin loved seeing. He had made some simple meat and veggies and popped that into the fridge so Arthur could heat it up if he would wake up one of these moments. He left a note about it on the dining table.

Merlin himself went to bed early after a nice hot shower. He was just exhausted from all that had happened that morning. First it was Gaius' leaving and then it was the incident about Arthur's past and having to convince Arthur that he didn't blame him for anything that he had done in his past. If any, he only admired Arthur even more that he was able to support himself, even though the way he had done it wasn't perhaps the most kind way (for Arthur's wellbeing that is) to do it.

Merlin just hoped that piano concert could cheer Arthur up, even it was just a little bit. Merlin had noticed how passionate Arthur became of the piano, it began to become a second nature for him and Merlin loved hearing Arthur play on it. He was surprised to hear how well and how quickly Arthur had mastered the art of the piano, it just came so natural to him. If someone would hear him play they would probably think that he had been playing it since he was little, but then to think that Arthur had played the piano for only three months was just baffling. He surely was talented.

**~oOoOo~**

Arthur had woken up somewhere around nine that evening and was surprised to find everything dark and quiet besides one small table lamp at the dining table. He called Merlin's name but there wasn't a response. Arthur sat up and stretched his limbs. He must've slept for about seven or eight hours he guesses and his stomach was rumbling lightly, so he decided to check the kitchen for some food. On his way there, he noticed the small note on the kitchen table and a smile graced his lips. Merlin was so thoughtful and great, and caring, and loving, and… Arthur sighed.

He doesn't have a clear insight whether he was gay or not, because when he had to have sex for money he didn't had a preference for one gender or another, but then again during those times he wasn't really turned on either. It was his job and he did it without emotions; he could hardly draw conclusions based of those occurrences.

Arthur knew that Merlin was gay, he had said so himself in one of the first weeks he was living in Gaius' house. Perhaps that knowledge drew him more to Merlin, or maybe he just craved the love the other man gave him.

He was confused on whether his feelings for Merlin were real, or that he was just craving for the attention Merlin gave. He decided to put the subject to rest for a few moments and get to the kitchen to heat the food up in the microwave.

Arthur ate quietly and managed to keep his thoughts about Merlin to a minimal. When he was ready, he put the dirty dishes in the dishwasher and turned it on. Then he went to bed. Despite him having slept for nearly seven hours already, he was still sleepy.

Arthur walked as quietly as possible to his room, trying his best to not disturb a sleeping Merlin. He did peek into Merlin's room though when he passed it and kept standing at the door for a few minutes to watch the sleeping man. Merlin nearly never drew the curtains close, so Arthur could now see Merlin perfectly fine with help of the moonlight pouring it. It was almost a magical sight.

Arthur slept very well that night.

**~oOoOo~**

Arthur was dressing himself for the concert. He asked Merlin what he should wear with the jacket and Merlin put some things out on his bed. Merlin picked out a pair of dark blue jeans, a grey V-neck shirt and of course his newly bought jacket. Merlin also put some pair of shoes that were a bit nicer looking than his normal trainers next to the bed. Arthur knew that they were Merlin's, but he didn't care about that. He was happy with what Merlin laid out for him, he wouldn't feel comfortable if he had to dress in a full suit, he was only sixteen after all.

Arthur walked out a few minutes later and saw Merlin sitting on the couch. He announced himself with a small cough and opened his arm and made a little turn when he saw Merlin look up. "How do I look?"

Merlin stood up from the couch, dressed quite similar to Arthur except he wore a dress shirt instead of a t-shirt. He looked Arthur up and down and liked what he saw. Arthur had come a long way since the first day he stepped inside this very house. He had become more open, and let his guard down a little bit more. Not entirely, but enough for him to relax.

Arthur stood still after his turn and waited for Merlin's reply. "So?" He pressed again.

"You, look amazing. Really suiting." Merlin saw the silver necklace peeking out from beneath the V-neck and took a step forward. He reached up and tugged it gently until it came out from beneath the fabric. Merlin felt Arthur tense up underneath his fingers, but looked Arthur straight in his eyes, hoping that they would pour out enough trust to let him do this.

"There," Merlin said and took a step back, his hand gently going over Arthur's arms as he stood back. "I think it goes pretty well."

Arthur looked down to the necklace and then up to Merlin. When Merlin came closer, he didn't know what his intentions were, and when he pulled on the necklace, Arthur thought he would remove it. But things turned out different and he didn't know whether he liked the piece of jewellery being out or not. It was just a new feeling to get used to he assumed.

"You think so?" He asked, just to get another confirmation. He saw Merlin nod and then Merlin held the tickets up. "So, ready to go?"

**~oOoOo~**

Arthur liked and disliked crowds. He liked them because he could blend in pretty easily and he could watch all the people that were around him. Old, young, big, small. Sometimes he even imagined what life they were leading… something he did to pass some time.

On the other hand, he disliked them for almost those exact same reasons. The more people there were around, the more chances there were for him to be pulled aside and being bent over at the nearest flat surface.

Like right now, he felt a bit anxious and tensed being surrounded by so many people, but then he felt Merlin's presence next to him, and Merlin's hand slipping into his own. Arthur looked to his side and Merlin offered him a small smile and that smile was enough for the tension between his shoulders to lessen.

"You okay?" Merlin whispered, and after a moment of thought Arthur nodded. Merlin squeezed Arthur's hand, just moments before the doors to the concert hall opened.

"Come along, Arthur."

Arthur was in awe about the sheer beauty of the hall as Merlin pulled him towards their seats. They sat down and were now waiting for the other people to settle down as well. Merlin had said that they weren't the best seats, but Arthur could see the piano very well from here. Just a shame that he couldn't see the pianist's face from there though, she would be sitting with her back against them.

The members of the orchestra were coming onto the stage and found their assigned spot and about five or ten minutes later the flights flickered twice and the noise in the room settled until a hush whisper. There was a man introducing "Allisandra Qussaint." And then there were two bright lights projected onto the main stage and moments later a woman appeared, dressed in a yellow/gold gown.

Applause erupted as the woman settled on the chair, but as soon she placed her hands on the keys, the applause died down until it was as quiet as it could be. The lights were dimmed and it made the atmosphere even more peacefully. Arthur held his breathe and only let it go when the first keys were played.

He recognized the song, he'd played it several times before, it was Claire de Lune, one of his favourite songs so far. He wasn't surprised to feel a nudge from Merlin's side, saying, "Hey, that's the song you play a lot."

"I know," Arthur replied with a wide smile and then turned his attention back to the pianist. She played the song nothing like the way he played it; she played it so much better, so much more sophisticated. So pure and full of emotion. Arthur closed his eyes and let the music take him away to another world.

He recognized some other songs that were being played as well, and all were played beautifully, magically. Arthur could listen to it all day long.

And then, the concert came to an end. The pianist stood up from her chair and the lights became brighter again. Arthur, Merlin and the rest of the people stood up as well to give the pianist a standing ovation, which she took in gratitude.

Arthur watched how she got some flowers and after bowing a few times more, she left the stage and not much time after, the crowd started to drain out of the room as well. Merlin and Arthur were one of the last people in the concert hall because Arthur was reluctant to go, much to Merlin's amusement.

"Come on Arthur, before they drag us out of here." Merlin jested, but he saw that Arthur wasn't really listening to him. He was too transfixed onto the piano. Merlin looked back and forth between Arthur and the piano.

"Arthur, you can't!" Merlin laughed, first loud, but then he saw that Arthur was serious. "Arthur –"

But Arthur already ran quickly to the stage and up the small staircase. Merlin saw Arthur walk on the stage, and slowly towards the grand piano. Merlin made sure that he followed Arthur soon after. "Arthur, c'mon, you had your fun." He said a bit impatiently, especially since a small group of people had stopped from exiting and were now looking at the two teens. Some with amusement, and some with a downright sneer on their faces.

But Arthur just shrugged and placed his hands on the keys. He could only play a few chords before they were interrupted by a clearing of someone's throat and when Arthur looked over his shoulder his eyes widened and he jumped up from his place.

"Oh, don't stop on my account." Ygraine said, but he walked away from the piano with his head bowed down, and he kept apologizing over and over.

"Miss Qussaint, I'm so sorry."

"Don't be silly." The woman said and sat down on the stool. She patted the spot next to her. "Young talent should be treasured, not stopped."

"See Arthur." Merlin whispered when Arthur was nearly standing next to him again. Then Merlin turned to the woman. "That's what I've been telling him!" Merlin earned himself a glare from Arthur.

"Really," The woman said again, smiling, and patting the stool for good measure. "Come, there's plenty of room."

Arthur looked from the woman to Merlin, and with Merlin's nod he stepped forward and slid onto the stool.

"So, what do you like to play?" The woman asked.

"I, err. I like to play Claire de lune a lot. But I'm not nearly as good as you. Eh, Miss."

Ygraine smiled softly and placed her hands on the keys. "You don't have to call me Miss. Allisandra or even Lizzy is just fine." She pressed the first keys down. "Why don't you play with me." She said.

"Err,"

"It's okay. You start and I'll set in at a later point."

Arthur swallowed deeply, he was suddenly very nervous. But when he heard Merlin say, "You can do it, Arthur.", he placed his fingers on the keys and started playing. As promised, Ygraine set in later and the two of them played one beautiful duet until Arthur stopped and rubbed his neck.

There was a small applause from the little crowd of people, but Ygraine didn't pay attention to that. The moment that the boy next to her lifted his arm to rub his neck, she caught sight of the necklace around his neck and she just froze. _Could it be…_

"This is about as far as I know." Arthur offered as an explanation when he stood up from the bench. "But thank you, it's been an honour to play with you. And I won't take any more of your time." Arthur turned and dragged Merlin with him off the stage and through the crowds.

"No wait!" Ygraine stood up from the stool when her brain had finally caught up with what was happening, but it was too late by then and she couldn't find the boy anymore within the crowd of people.

She ran off the stage and got a few looks in return, but that wasn't her focus at the moment. She had to know if the boy had the necklace with her picture around his neck. She looked around in the grand hall, but she didn't saw the two boys anymore.

* * *

><p><strong>The explanation of Ygraine's changed name will follow in a later chapter. <strong>

**I'll leave it in the middle for now, whether Arthur and Merlin are going to be just friends, or maybe something more. I haven't decided yet.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Small chappie, just some background about Ygraine. I thought it was better to have this as a stand-alone chapter.**

* * *

><p>Ygraine was sitting with her knees drawn up to her chest in the windowsill, looking out of that very same window. Her mind hadn't stopped thinking about the boy she so briefly spoke nearly two weeks ago.<p>

She was always convinced that, whenever she would find her son again, that she would _know _that it was her son, but anything but that was true. It wasn't until she saw the necklace that she thought about the possibility that the blonde boy was her son.

But it was too late to discover now. He had slipped through her hands and every effort she did to find him again lead to be nothing.

But she was almost a hundred per cent positive that the blonde was indeed her son. If any, the other guy that was with him had called him 'Arthur', and _that _plus considering that this Arthur wore a necklace the same as she had given Catrina seventeen years ago as of today, was just too much of a coincidence.

She tried the police, but when they only had a first name and an appearance of 'blonde hair, blue eyes', to go on, they didn't came that far. There weren't any Arthur's in the system that were even looking remotely close to the person she had played the piano with, and Ygraine started to lose hope.

Her guardian Godwyn, who she considered to be her father, came into the room with a tray with tea and placed it down on the table. She turned to him and he gave her a sad sort of smiles.

Godwyn had sensed something about his adoptive daughter when he went to visit her the day after the concert to ask her about her experience. Only then she had spoken about what was troubling her.

He couldn't deny that he was relieved to hear his daughter finally opening up to him after nearly seventeen years. He had always wondered what she had to hide from him ever since the day he had found her on the sidewalk. He had his suspicions, but he never had voiced them. This was however the day that he got an affirmative answer to that suspicion and he had been right all along. She had given birth about seventeen years ago.

**~oOoOo~**

Sixteen years ago, he had been going through his day like any other day and he was just being driven back by his personal chauffeur when he saw a girl collapse at the side of the road. Him being a doctor had immediately made his chauffeur stop and he went to the girl to check if she was alright. When she wasn't responding, he had been taking her to the hospital and waited her to wake up.

They had examined her and there were no internal injuries, but there were some concerns about her low iron level and a high oestrogen level. It could indicate that she had been pregnant not that much time before, and she had some physical signs of a pregnancy, but none too distinct to be certain about it.

She didn't had any identification on her, and she was still unconscious when the police and Child Services had arrived to question her.

It took her nearly a day to wake up and Godwyn had been examining her once more and her iron levels had settled with the medication that was given, but her oestrogen levels were still a little bit high. Godwyn had approached the pregnancy subject with care, but the girl had been fiercely responding that she hadn't been pregnant.

Godwyn had nodded at that and told her that he believed her, even though in the back of his mind he knew there was something that she was hiding from him, but he also knew that she was still a teenager and they usually didn't like to speak about their feelings.

Together with the police and Child Services, Godwyn had asked her some basic questions about her; like her name, age, where she lived and so on. She had been very reluctant and aloof to answer him with the officials being present, so Godwyn sent them away. Then he had been trying his best to get the girl's trust, and after an hour he finally got some information from her; Allisandra, seventeen, and no parents. That was all, no last name, no address, nothing else except those three things. It wasn't much, but he had passed it on to the officials who had typed in the details, but nothing had come up.

Child Services had stated to Godwyn that she would be put into a foster family until she would turn eighteen, but Godwyn had taken sympathy on the child and after a quick word with his wife Alice, told Child Services that she could stay with him.

Allisandra – or now he knew that her name was Ygraine (she had told him that Allisandra was just the first name that had come into her mind) – had been staying in their country home until she felt better. During her recovery time she spent a lot of time at the piano and his wife Alice, who was a director of a prestigious music school, had heard her play in their home and had offered her a musical scholarship. She accepted and continued to stay with them and had graduated with high honours.

During her school years, she had been adopted legally by him and Alice, as it was Alice's last wish before she would die. Alice had been sick for a while then and she knew her end would come soon. She had come to love the child that had been brought in by her husband all those years ago and saw her as her own child.

Ygraine had only been even more determined to make her adoptive mother proud and had quickly become one of the newest and most successful pianist from this century. She travelled all over the world and Godwyn had retired early to accompany her with her travels. But even with her success, Godwyn could see that there was something else that was bothering, or even missing, in Ygraine's life. He had asked her many times, but she always had a way to deflect the subject. He first thought it might be because the lack of a boyfriend, but Ygraine had always caught the other gender's attention, but she also always rejected them, so Godwyn wasn't sure anymore.

But then, two weeks ago, he had come at her own house and had seen how miserable she looked. And then she broke down completely and had been telling him what had happened nearly seventeen years ago. She had told him her real name and about that she had given birth to a beautiful baby boy and had to give him up because she couldn't care for him herself at that time. She also told him about Uther, and that he's part of the reason she had never dated anyone else because for her he was the love of her life.

And finally she told him about what had happened at the concert and that she might possibly had found her son, only to lose him again.

When she was done telling him everything, she wanted to leave, had already been starting to pack her bags before he came by, but Godwyn stopped her and had just hold her as she was emotional as well as physically drained and had begun to fall asleep in his hold. He continued to hold her for hours on end and after she had woken again, he promised her to help in finding her son… and Uther.

**~oOoOo~**

"Is there any news?" Ygraine asked as she turned in her spot and got off the windowsill. She felt hopeful and thought that this day could possibly be the day she would be informed that they had located her son, or even Uther, but that hope was crushed when she saw her father shake his head.

Her shoulders slumped and she sat down in the comfortable air chair.

"Here, drink some." Godwyn held a saucer with a cup of tea in front of her and put a soft hand on her shoulder. Almost reluctantly, Ygraine accepted and sipped her tea quietly.

"Oh Lizzy," Godwyn began and tightened his grip on her shoulder. He was still not familiarized in using her real name, but it seemed that Ygraine didn't mind to be called either name. "We will find your son, I promise you."


	7. Chapter 7

"_For he's a jolly good fellow, for he's a jolly good fellow… for he's a jolly good fe-e-e-looooow. Whiiiich, nobody can deny."_

The small group laughed and clunked their glasses together in a sort of toast. "Happy seventeenth birthday, Arthur." The small crowd chorused together.

Arthur blushed lightly, but thankfully the somewhat dark pub hid his blush conveniently well. He looked around him and saw the people sitting in the booth with him. He had just met him only two weeks ago when Merlin asked (more like dragged) him out of the house to meet his friends. Most of them were people that he and Gaius had taken in over time. Those people were Gwen, Elyan, Percy and Freya (who - Arthur soon found out- was actually married to Percy).

The others he got to know were good friends of Merlin, but he hadn't met them in the three month's he was already staying with Merlin, because those three had been deployed and had only returned back to England a few days ago; their names were Leon, Gwaine and Lance.

He was like a scared little chicken when he first met them, he just wasn't that good with crowds and especially not with people older than him. Merlin had taken his hand and let everyone gently get to know Arthur a little bit better and vice versa. Every one of them proved to Arthur that they were good people and Arthur was relaxed enough in their presence at the end of the evening – but perhaps the alcohol was helping with that as well.

He had met them a few more times after and when he was certain that nobody wanted to get with him just for sex, he started to let his guard down a little bit more and could actually get to know them a bit better. He got on well with each and every one of them, and apart from Merlin, felt more comfortable around Lance, Gwaine and Leon, they just gave him that feeling of safety and comfort that he had only been experiencing a few times in his life. Maybe it was the knowledge about them being in the army that gave him that feeling of security, but he's not sure if that was the real reason.

The others were amazing as well. Gwen and Elyan were staying in a nearby hotel for a two week holiday and came to visit as often as they could. Gwen saw it as her duty to feed him and Merlin three times a day as well as she could, as she knew that Merlin could be a bit lazy about that sometimes when Gaius wasn't around. Elyan wasn't far off with his sister and was what Merlin called a 'neat-freak'. He cleaned and dusted the house nearly every day, until Merlin had enough and hid the hoover. Much to Elyan's annoyance and to Arthur's amusement.

He hadn't seen Percy and Freya that much in those two weeks, mostly due to their working schedules. Percy was working at a factory that made carpets and was working in shifts, whereas Freya had her own practice as a midwife, which meant she had to be on call 24/7. Arthur had learnt that they weren't exactly the biggest talkers, but Arthur could see that they were clearly in love with each other. They had been welcoming him in their own way and Arthur appreciated them for being a bit more held back, it was certainly a nice change from all the busyness the others brought with them.

"Thanks guys." Arthur said, and took a sip of his beer. He had vowed to himself to keep his alcohol consumption at a minimum tonight, but he wasn't sure if he could actually carry that one out; especially not with Gwaine in their midst. It seemed like Gwaine could drink and drink without feeling any effect.

But Arthur's thinking back about what he had almost done the last time he was out with Merlin, he had been tipsy and just one or two glasses shy of being full on drunk. He had leaned in to kiss Merlin… only to turn his head on the last second to throw out the contents from his stomach. He didn't remember much about what he had done after, and Merlin wasn't a great help with that either. He just said that they went home and as soon as Arthur crashed onto his bed, he was in dreamland.

Arthur was, however, now quite certain of his feelings for Merlin, but he still wasn't sure about Merlin's feelings for him. _If _there were even feelings from Merlin's part to begin with! Arthur kept his own feelings mostly to himself for now, because he didn't want to make things even more awkward than they already seemed to be between him and Merlin. That didn't stop him from turning his head to sneak a glance at Merlin, who sat right next to him and currently seemed to be in a deep conversation with Leon.

Arthur sipped his drinks a few times more and swayed his body a little bit on the music, as he didn't know what else to do, until Merlin nudged him in his side and held up a small box tied off with a red ribbon. "From all of us. Well, and Gaius." Merlin added.

Arthur looked around him and saw the rest of the group looking at him as well.

"For me?" Arthur asked.

After a few nods and yesses, Arthur accepted the box and pushed the ribbon off, so he could actually lift the lid. He was met with a piece of paper. He looked at it and a few seconds later he lifted his head with his jaw dropped. This was an even better gift than two weeks ago when Merlin presented him the concert tickets.

"A three hour long private lesson with Allisandra Qussaint?!" Arthur could hardly believe it.

"You like it?" Merlin asked, almost shyly. "It's just, that you two seemed to have a connections at the concert. And when I thought of a gift for your birthday, I looked around on the web and saw that she also gave private lessons, so I contacted them and set a date. I know it's on short term, but apparently she's quite busy and almost completely fully booked." He pointed to the piece of paper. "It says my name, but that's because it otherwise wouldn't accept the credit card payment or whatever, but I spoke with them and as long as you bring that piece of paper and the e-mail, it's okay."

"Oh my god," Arthur whispered, more to himself than anyone else, but Merlin heard and smiled broadly. He knew it was the right gift to give Arthur. Arthur looked around him, "Really guys, thank you, but this is just too much. I – I," He could feel it, he was about to cry.

"Hey, don't worry about it." Gwaine said, who was sitting next to Arthur, and patted him on the back a couple of times. "You're a great guy, and Merlin told us you're quite the talent on the piano, so you deserve it. Of course we," he gestured around him at the group, "expect some private concert from you, once you've come back from your meeting."

Arthur clutched the paper even tighter in his fingers. "Of course!" He laughed and then put the paper back in the box and into the pocket of his coat as he raised his glass of beer once more. "To the best people, _ever_."

**~oOoOo~**

"Merliiin," Arthur drawled out, leaning heavily against Merlin who tried to unlock the front door. Merlin shook his head, Gwaine was on a mission to get Arthur drunk and it seemed that he had succeeded, damn it Gwaine!

"What is it Arthur,"

"You look _so_ good tonight." Arthur took a sniff at Merlin's neck. "And smell good too." Arthur giggled, then hiccupped. "Oh, whoops." Arthur snorted.

"Come along, Arthur." Merlin sighed, when he had opened the door. "Let's get you to bed, before you'll do something you'll regret in the morning." He started to drag Arthur forward and closed the door behind them. He turned to see Arthur looking at him with a pout and his arms crossed.

Merlin inhaled through his nose and held the urge to roll his eyes. "What is it this time?"

"Don't you like me?" Arthur muttered softly before retuning his pout.

Merlin stretched his arm out towards Arthur and grabbed him at the elbow, "Arthur, you're in no state. Come on." He gently tugged Arthur along towards his room and opened the door, all the while ignoring Arthur's soft protest about not being tired yet.

"Come, you'll be feeling a lot better in the morning." Merlin sat Arthur down on the bed and quickly dashed to the bathroom to fill a glass of water. When he came back, Arthur was already undressed from his top half and was now starting to fidget his button, but the alcohol dulled his senses and he stopped after trying a few times and looked positively sad about that fact.

Merlin pushed the glass of water in Arthur's hand. "Drink up."

Arthur grumbled, but Merlin ignored his protest and lifted Arthur's hand that held the glass. Only when Arthur started to drink he let go and bent down to loosen the shoelaces and pulled the shoes off and put them neatly next to the bed. When he was done with that he stood up and saw that Arthur had drunk all the water and was now peeking with one eye closed through the bottom of the glass, giggling.

"Merlin, your head is big."

"Yes, I'm quite aware of that." Merlin muttered, grabbing the glass out of Arthur's hand. Arthur looked sad at the loss of his little plaything.

Merlin beckoned Arthur with his index finger to stand up. "Up, and off with your pants."

Arthur snorted, then buried his head into his shoulder. All too shyly he answered, "Oh mister Emrys, that's no way to ask a woman." Arthur laughed at his own answer, Merlin sighed.

"Well, good thing you're not a woman then, hm?" Merlin now gestured again for Arthur to stand up, which he _finally _did. Merlin moved forward when Arthur only stood there with his arms at his side, looking like he was about to fall asleep. Sighing, Merlin jerked Arthur's belt loose and popped the button of Arthur's jeans. "There, can you manage on your own now?"

"_Mer_lin!" Arthur whined. "I can't, look!" He held his fists up and started to sob softly. "I have no fingers, now you'll never like me."

Merlin sighed deeply again, then tutted. "Arthur, Arthur, you're _so _going to hate yourself in the morning." He did pulled down Arthur's zipper down and pushed the blankets on Arthur's bed away before pushing Arthur down to sit on the bed, before he could pull Arthur's jeans fully away. Arthur now sat on the edge of the bed with his arms crossed over his chest. "I'm co-old." He whined.

Merlin waved in Arthur's direction after putting his clothes away on the nearby chair. "Well, maybe you'll have to get under the blankets and get warmer."

Arthur shook his head and with one jump he was at Merlin and dragged him with him, before he crashed down the bed, taking Merlin with him who fell on top of him with a squawk. "Mmm," Arthur snuggled closer to Merlin. "This is much better. Just stay here."

Merlin was about to protest until he heard a deep snore from beneath him. When he looked down he saw Arthur was asleep, Merlin couldn't help to let a small smile appear and was trying to wriggle himself out of Arthur's hold, which was easier said than done. After three tries, he gave in for the moment and would wait until he knew that Arthur was deep under.

And it wasn't like he protested to be lying in bed like this with Arthur, because he couldn't deny that there weren't feelings starting to develop for the significant other, but Merlin felt that it just wasn't right. He just couldn't go further due to what has happened for the most part in Arthur's life, it would feel too much like using Arthur… even though he would _never _treat Arthur like that.

It was just… ugh, he didn't know. All he knew was that he couldn't start a relationship with Arthur so soon after everything that had happened. He tried to be a little more distant to Arthur the past month or so, but when the incident on the street with that one man happened, he just couldn't let Arthur get through it alone and let himself be near Arthur again by allowing him to be under the same blanket as him. It might not have been that good of an idea, because Merlin felt all too comfortable in that position and he could certainly get used to it. But he just couldn't tell Arthur that, he was still far too fragile. And besides, Merlin wasn't even sure if the other man liked him the way he liked Arthur, perhaps it was just the alcohol that made Arthur talk like that. Merlin inhaled deeply. He needed to go, _now, _or he wouldn't be able to leave.

"Good night Arthur." Merlin whispered, brushing a few strays of hair away from his face. He waited a moment longer, but then decided to fuck it and bent down to peck a feather light kiss on Arthur's temple. It felt so wrong, yet so right.

Merlin managed to get out of Arthur's grip and quietly walked out of the room. He had a lot to think about.

**~oOoOo~**

The next morning Arthur woke with a pounding in his head. He groaned loudly and when he tried to sit up, it seemed like the pounding worsened in tenfold. "Oh god, _what _happened last night." He mumbled to himself as he pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes to let the light gently filter in.

Arthur heard noises coming from the kitchen and when his eyes were somewhat used to the light he looked at his alarm clock and saw that it was 8:30 am. Good thing it was Sunday today and he didn't had to go to work.

He next noticed the glass and tablet next to his alarm clock and a little note that said:

_For your head, you'll probably need it.  
><em>_-M._

Arthur's lips lifted in a smile and took the aspirin and washed it away with three gulps of water. He was thinking hard about what had happened last night, because the last thing he could remember was Gwaine dancing on the bar. He had no recollection of how he ended up in his bed, better ask Merlin.

He dressed himself and went to the kitchen where Merlin was busy with boiling some eggs. Merlin turned around when he heard the door open. "Morning!" He said bright and loud and Arthur winced at the loudness of it.

"Can you like…" He lowered his hands a bit at the time, hoping that Merlin would take the hint for being a little bit quieter.

"Hmmm, I don't know, _my lady_."

Arthur stared at him in confusion. "Huh?"

"Well, last night you were a beautiful young lady… although beautiful? You had no fingers. Such a shame." Merlin chuckled and shook his head in a playful manner as he shocked the eggs under cold water. Arthur still stared at him, no idea what Merlin was on about.

Arthur rubbed his hands over his face and when he drew his hands away there was a cup of coffee held up in front of him. "Here," Merlin said, "Drink up. It'll sober you up a little bit."

"Seriously Merlin," Arthur said when he drunk a good part of the cup. "What _are _you on about."

"Well,_ Arthur_, you were a little bit drunk last night. And annoying if I may add." Merlin tutted again, "You just didn't want to listen to me, just being annoying. And if it wasn't for me, you'd be up dancing at the bar together with Gwaine. That was the moment I knew you had enough and I dragged you home." Merlin gestured to the door and had the two eggs in his other hand. Arthur opened the door and Merlin followed him to the table. They sat down and Merlin continued.

"_Then_, we came home and you just refused to take your trousers off because apparently _I _shouldn't ask a lady to do that." Merlin chuckled lightly and rolled his eyes, all the while Arthur got a redder and redder colour on his cheekbones. "Well, _finally, _I got you to get them off, only you pulled me down on the bed and refused to let me go. Spent like five minutes on top of you."

Merlin bit his lip, he didn't know whether he would've said that or not. But it was too late now, he had. He looked to Arthur who had now buried his head into his hands, mumbling, "_oh god, oh god, oh god_."

"Hey, come on, it's fine." Merlin said, extending his arm to place it on Arthur's. "We all do things we regret when we're drunk."

"Maybe I'm not?" Came Arthur's sudden reply. He inhaled deeply and looked Merlin in the eyes.

"What you mean?"

Arthur shook his head. "Never mind," He mumbled.

"No, Arthur, you can tell –"

They were interrupted by the phone ringing. Arthur looked almost relieved by that interruption, Merlin noticed as he went to pick up the phone.

"Hello?"

"_Merlin?"_

"Yes it's me, Gaius." Arthur immediately perked up and turned around to face Merlin. "Has he…?" Arthur softly enquired and Merlin answered with his shoulders held up.

"_Merlin, is Arthur there?"_

"Yes. Gaius, have you…" Merlin heard a deep sigh through the phone.

"_No, my boy. Not yet."_

Merlin looked up to Arthur and softly shook his head. Arthur immediately sagged down in the chair. He hoped that in the three, almost four, weeks that Gaius was in the States he would've found something, but apparently not.

"_I am trying my best," _Gaius continued. "_It's just hard with the government facilities to hand over any personal information. I have an appointment with city council tomorrow, perhaps I'll get a lead on something." _There was a small pause. "_How's he coping?"_

Merlin hummed, "So, so."

"_I'm sorry I missed his birthday."_

"Well, you can probably make it up to him by finding his father."

"_I'm trying my boy, I really am. But I only have about a month left on my VISA and only a few loose ends to go on. – Can I talk to him?"_

"Sure, hang on." Merlin turned and held out the phone in front of Arthur. "Gaius wants to talk to you."

Arthur accepted with a sad face. "Granddad?"

"_I'm sorry I couldn't phone you with better news."_

Arthur shrugged, but it wasn't like Gaius could see that through the phone. "I think I might've been a bit too hopeful." Arthur replied truthfully. "I should've known better that it would be hard to find only one person in such a big state."

"_I'm really sorry, my boy. I told Merlin that I have an appointment with City Council tomorrow, so I hope that'll give me a lead or two to get on." _Gaius paused for a moment again. "_But, for now, I just want to wish you a happy birthday. I'm sorry I couldn't be there, but I hope you like your present."_

Arthur managed to crack a small smile onto his face. "I did! It was amazing! It's just a month away, but I really think it was too expensive!"

_"__Don't worry about that, my boy. You deserve it."_

"But I don't!" Arthur argued through the phone. Merlin was looking at him with a cocked head, he didn't know what Arthur and Gaius were talking about, he only caught Arthur's parts of the conversation.

"_Arthur! You have every right to it. You are a wonderful young man, and when I find your father, I will tell him exactly that. I want you to enjoy the experience and don't you worry about the costs, it's all paid now anyways. Now, I do have to go."_

"Alright," Arthur answered, perhaps a bit sad.

"_Just, look after Merlin won't you."_

"I will. Bye granddad."

"Bye Arthur," Gaius replied and hung up the phone. Arthur put the phone back onto the base and turned to Merlin. "I think I will go and play for a bit."

"But you haven't had breakfast yet. And we still have to talk about –"

"I said, I will play for a bit." Arthur commented again and walked away. Merlin could hear the door open and a few moments more the house filled with music, like it did on almost a daily base for the past months.


	8. Chapter 8

Merlin, Arthur, Leon, Lance and Gwaine were going out bowling. Merlin needed to get Arthur out of the house before Arthur's head would explode with everything that had happened the past month. Gaius kept them updated on a weekly base with news about his search, but every phone call resulted in Arthur sulking around the house because Gaius hadn't been able to find his father yet.

Merlin couldn't take it anymore and called up his friends for a meet up. Gwaine, Leon and Lance accepted, but Percy and Freya declined because they had already something special planned for the two of them. Merlin then had to think of a place to go, he didn't want to go to a pub because he could remember what had happened a month ago and the few times after that when they met up (although he then would keep Arthur strictly on no more than three drinks), so he opted for a night of bowling.

He was prepared for a struggling Arthur who just wanted to stay inside and play the piano, but Merlin ignored his whines and just dragged him towards the bowling centre where the other three lads were already waiting for them.

"Arthur! Merlin!" They all greeted, some with a few slaps on Merlin and Arthur's back. They quickly went inside because it was positively _freezing _outside and couldn't wait to be in the warmth of the bowling centre. The place was full of radiant people, mostly due that the holidays and New Year were only a few weeks away.

They went to check their reservations and tried on some bowling shoes until they found the ones that fit them right, before making their way to the bowling lane. Gwaine and Leon fought for the chair to type in their names and Lance, Arthur and Merlin went to sit on the chairs behind their lane. Arthur then cleared his throat and leaned in closer to Merlin.

While he rubbed a hand in his neck, he whispered, "I – err, I actually never bowled before."

"Alright lads," Gwaine interrupted loudly. "Names are in, let the games begin! Leon's up first."

Merlin turned to Arthur, "Don't worry, it isn't that hard and this is just for fun. Just, try it and if it doesn't go like you wanted, I'll help you, alright?"

Arthur nodded and watched Leon to see how he held the ball and how he threw it, but it all went too fast. Leon took a few steps to the lane and stopped just before the line with one leg stretched out almost horizontally. Arthur didn't think that was even possible without falling, but apparently it could be succeeded.

Arthur then heard Gwaine snort loudly. "Only seven!"

"Shut up Gwaine, it's my first try."

"_Whatever_."

"Good evening lads," A waitress interrupted. "Can I get you something?"

"Yes a beer, no wait two!" Gwaine immediately answered. Leon, Lance and Merlin soon followed with their order and Arthur was the last one. The girl smiled sweetly down at him and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "And you?" She asked Arthur, her voice now sounding a lot more lower than she first spoke.

"I'll have a coke, thanks."

The girl nodded and smiled sweetly again. Merlin glared at the girl, he knew what she was up too. His glare was broken when Gwaine pounded Arthur's arm. "She was _so _flirting with you."

Arthur looked positively surprised. "She did?" He glanced a quick look to Merlin, who was looking annoyed, he had no idea why.

"Yes!" Gwaine stood up and plopped down next to Arthur with his arm thrown over Arthur's shoulders. He leaned closer, "So what you've got to do is –"

"Yes, thank you Gwaine," Merlin interrupted and Arthur could not only see the annoyance, but also hear it. "Your great advice has to wait, it's Arthur's turn."

Arthur looked up at the scoreboard and saw his name lightened up. "Oh, yes. Right." Arthur stood up and walked to the balls, he had no idea which one he would have to take. He lifted a few times, trying their weight and then settled on an twelve kilogram one to use for the first try. He walked up to the line with the ball in his hands and saw the three holes, he assumed that there was where his fingers had to go in, so he put his thumb, index finger and middle finger in the holes and then briefly looked back to Merlin who encouraged him to throw by nodding his head forward.

Arthur breathed in deeply and then swung his arm back and forth and watched the ball go straight into the gutter. Arthur sulkily walked back to the rails of balls and searched for another ball of similar weight when he felt someone standing next to him. Looking to his side, he saw Merlin.

"Hey, don't worry. It's just a game. Here," Merlin passed Arthur another ball. "Come, I'll show you." He walked forwards towards the line and Arthur followed. When he was near Merlin, he was grasped at his shoulders and not yet manhandled into the right position… or so he assumed was the right position, it was just a bit distracting to have Merlin's body so closely pressed up against his own.

"Okay, put your thumb in the lowest hole and your middle finger in the left hole and your ring finger in the right one. Good." Merlin slid his hand over Arthur's arm all the way down to where his hand was, he gently gripped it and then slowly pulled it back. He whispered, "Now try to aim the ball at the little arrow in the middle of the lane."

Arthur shuddered just from feeling that hot air against the shell of his ear.

"Just push your arm forward and throw," Merlin whispered and Arthur did, watching how the ball didn't immediately go into the gutter, but actually went straight ahead to the pins and actually knocking some over.

"Wuh, you did it!" Merlin yelled, breaking the tension between them and threw his arms around Arthur, until he realised what he just did and quickly retracted them back again with a small blush. Arthur cleared his throat a bit and looked up at the score board.

"Yeah, but only five." He didn't look very proud of that, but Merlin had enough pride for the two of them.

"Doesn't matter, all that matters that you did it and that's that." Merlin replied and plopped down on his chair and watched how Lance picked out a ball and threw the first strike of the evening. He didn't noticed Arthur's eyes, looking at him quite intensely with a sparkle within them.

**~oOoOo~**

The evening went around in quite the same fashion and Arthur actually became a bit more confident and had even managed to throw a strike. Merlin couldn't be any happier and had hugged him again, not noticing the looks and smirks the other three guys directed to each other.

The waitress had come along a few more times and even Arthur could see her annoyed look being directed at Merlin and vice versa at those times. He had no idea why and thought they might've known each other or something and just didn't got along.

They soon ended their game, Leon came out on top, then Merlin, Lance, Gwaine and finally Arthur. Arthur actually thought he wasn't too bad for his first try, only thirty points behind Gwaine… who was nearly seventy five points behind everyone else. Probably the beers' fault, or so he blamed.

The five of them searched for a table to have a drink (which Merlin still kept strictly non-alcoholic for him and Arthur) and sat down. Arthur immediately went to stand up though. "I, err, just going to the loo, back in a tick."

"Okay," Merlin answered smilingly and followed Arthur's retreating figure until he went through the door. With a soft sigh he turned back, having completely forgotten that he wasn't alone but sitting with three of his closest friends. They were all looking at him with a smirk.

"You're so over your head mate," Gwaine said with a smack on Merlin's arm.

"Am not," Merlin mumbled with a blush, and quickly took a few sips from his drink.

"Really though." Lancelot added and it got him a glare from Merlin. Lancelot shrugged with little guilt.

"It's for everyone to see though." Leon added lastly. "We saw some signs during our last nights out, but didn't know what to think of them, but I guess now we _know_."

Merlin spluttered. "Signs? What fucking signs!"

Gwaine snorted, "Well you swearing is a pretty big one. You only swear to divert attention from you, which, by the way, is doing the total opposite really." Gwaine thought for a second about what he wanted to say more and then snapped his fingers. "The looks, oh the looks!"

"Oh and that thing with the waitress–" Leon butted in.

"Shut up, shut up. Alright." Merlin intervened. "I get your point."

"So you admit then," Gwaine enquired.

"Yes. No. Ughhh." Merlin put his head down on the table with a small thump and then lifted it up again. "Alright, I admit. I _do _like him more than a friend, but it's not like I can do anything with him."

Gwaine shrugged, "Why not?"

"Because! – because of his history. I – I don't want to let him feel like I'm, I don't know, like I'm _using _him. He's been through enough."

"But you aren't using him!" Gwaine huffed and shuffled closer to Merlin and put his arm around Merlin's shoulders, "Don't you think he needs some _real _love then. And for what it's worth, we all think Arthur thinks the same about you like you do of him."

Merlin turned his head to look at his friend to check if he was serious or not. He didn't find any signs that he was joking, but you couldn't always be sure with Gwaine, so he turned to his other two friends as well, and they were nodding their heads as well.

"He's coming." Lance said when he saw Arthur coming towards them.

"Sorry it took so long, there was a queue." Arthur explained when he sat down, having no idea what had just been discussed between the four men moments earlier.

"No worries," Came the chorus or replies.

There was a short moment of almost awkward silence between the five of them before Lance broke it by saying, "So, Arthur. Tomorrow's the private lesson with that Allisandra, you exited?"

Arthur nodded heavily. "Seriously can't wait for it, I'm curious about _what_ we're exactly going to do, but tot doesn't take away the excitement!"

"And Gaius, he's coming back the day after tomorrow right?"

"Yeah he is," Arthur replied on a bit more sombre tone. Of course he was happy that his granddad (which they checked out if it was actually true by doing a DNA test and the results came back positive, just before Gaius had left) was coming back, but Gaius had phoned them last night, apologizing about his failing in finding his son and so Arthur's father.

Merlin inched closer and put his hand on Arthur's, it felt natural to do so, and Arthur let him, even giving Merlin a tight smile in return.

**~oOoOo~**

Their night out had overall been a good one, Arthur had been feeling up and down, but Merlin tried his best to keep his mind occupied. Which Arthur was thankful for.

They now were sitting at the breakfast table, and Arthur was being more quite than usual. Merlin could understand the meaning of it, but hated to see his secret crush like this, but on the other hand he didn't know how he could make it all better. He had tried secretly done some Family Tree research online, but it came up zilch. Luckily he hadn't informed Arthur about it, because it would certainly bring his down more.

He realizes that he hadn't said anything against Arthur except _morning _the whole time they were sitting at the table, so he clears his throat and asked, "So what you going to wear?" Secretly he hoped Arthur would opt for the red polo that makes his blonde hair and blue eyes stand out so well… not that he would actually tell Arthur that.

Arthur shrugged and swallowed down his bit of cereal. "Dunno, you know I'm bad at such things."

"I could help?" Merlin offered and Arthur nodded his head and stood up and cleared up the table when he and Merlin were as good as finished. Merlin helped and then followed Arthur to his room where Arthur pulled the closet door open before sitting on the edge of his bed.

Merlin went on with his search for the red shirt and found it after some rummaging, Arthur never was one for being really tidy. He chose some dark blue jeans to go with it and some sneakers that he deemed reasonable for the type of appointment and held them out towards Arthur. "Here, try these on." He said and before he could turn away, Arthur was already pulling off his shirt baring the necklace with his parents' pictures.

Merlin spluttered and turned around. "Wha-"

"_Mer_lin," Arthur rolled his eyes, but at the same time he felt himself blush a little bit. He had taken off his shirt without really thinking about it and not taking in consideration that Merlin was still there with him. At least he knew he wasn't looking so sickly thin anymore and that his muscle capacity had grown in the past give or take five months. His pubertal appearance had mostly gone now and his baby face had gotten a few more sharper angles. He now actually liked how he was looking after years of hating his appearance.

"It's not like you haven't seen me without clothes before." Arthur added, tugging on the red shirt Merlin had given him. Merlin still kept his face towards the wall.

"Well, then you were drunk. It's different."

Arthur snorted and was now taking off his jeans and pulling on the ones Merlin gave him. "How?"

Merlin flapped his arms around. "It's just is, okay?"

"Fine. But you can turn around now, I'm dressed."

Merlin did and had to stop himself from gasping. Arthur just looked so… he didn't had a word for it. Arthur's hair was tousled from pulling shirts on and off, and then of course the shirt itself that just looked _unf_.

"Well? Good enough or not? I mean I don't want to disrespect or anything, and I –"

"Arthur, you look good, really." Merlin's ears pinked up, but at least he wasn't lying about that. Damn Arthur at making him feel like this.

"But we should go if you wanna catch the appointment."

**~oOoOo~**

"You're _sure _you don't mind taking underground back. Although I rather have you getting a cab instead." Merlin told Arthur when he parked in front of the house the GPS said was his destination. He couldn't pick Arthur up himself because he had to man the shops, or else he definitely would pick Arthur up and hear first-hand about his experience.

"Merlin, relax. Really, I'll be fine. I've done it plenty of times and I've got enough money on my Oyster card."

"I know, but it's the underground. Full of creeps and muggers and whatnot." Merlin countered.

"I've dealt with worse." Arthur added, a darker flash going over his face which Merlin caught and extended his arm towards Arthur. "But not anymore," Merlin whispered. "You're here, with Gaius… and _me_."

Arthur could smile at that.

Merlin waited a moment longer before shaking his head. "No, I won't have you. Here." Merlin fumbled in his trouser pocket and pulled out two twenty Pound notes. "Just get a cab alright, this should be enough."

Arthur waved his hands in a crossing motion, making sure the small stack of music sheets on his lap didn't fall off. "Merlin, _no_. I'm not going to pay forty Pounds _just _for a drive back to the house. That's insane!"

"Not even for me?" Merlin put up a bright smile and Arthur sighed followed by a small growl. He grabbed the two notes out of Merlin's hand. "Fine, I'll _think _about it. Now, I need to go and you as well. I'll see you later, okay?"

"Okay…" Merlin pouted slightly when he turned the key around to start the engine. He heard the passenger door open and watched Arthur getting out of the car. "Have fun," He yelled, hanging over to the left side and moments later he saw Arthur bend over to look back into the car.

"I will." He said, cheekily. "Bye,"

"Bye."

Arthur closed the door and took a step back to let Merlin drive away. He clutched the stack of paper with one hand against his chest and waved awkwardly with the other, not even knowing whether Merlin had seen or not, but when he heard Merlin honking he couldn't help but smiled broadly and shook his head fondly. Then he turned to the house, the house of Allisandra Qussaint.

Breathing in deeply, he walked up the small staircase leading up to the door and pressed the doorbell.


	9. Chapter 9

Arthur was being lead to a parlour by what he assumes could only be a butler, and had been told to wait there as Miss Qussaint wasn't quite ready yet. He was looking around a bit, the whole room was grand and he felt so out of place being surrounded by all the expensive statues and paintings. He was almost too scared to move, scared that he would accidentally bump into something and push it over and break it in the process.

Just to be safe, he sat down on one of the lounges and ruffled through the stack of music sheet papers, trying to find the piece he wanted to play first… if he was allowed to even suggest something. He had no idea what a private lesson would actually entail and he had just to wait and see basically, but _if _he had to give a suggestion to play, it would be the song he was searching for right now.

He found the piece he was looking for and was now studying it, imagining in his head to play it already; what key to hit, what pace to set. He was almost completely gone up in the moment when there was a clearing of someone's throat and Arthur looked up, only to see the same butler standing in the door opening.

"Miss Qussaint will see you now." The man said and waited for Arthur to pick up his stuff and then gestured him to follow him. Arthur did so and was amazed by the interior of the house as he walked through the hallway until they stopped at some double doors. The man opened the door and held out his hand towards the opened door for Arthur to step in. As Arthur did so, the man closed the door behind him.

Arthur breathed deeply in, Miss Qussaint was sitting with her back against him at one of the largest pianos he had even seen, playing a soft melody which Arthur didn't recognized. He didn't know whether Allisandra had heard him come in or not, and whether he should do something to attract her attention. He opted to wait a minute longer and if Allisandra hadn't said or did something that would assure Arthur she had, he would clear his throat or something.

But it was all unnecessary, "You can come further if you'd like," Allisandra said without looking up and continued playing the remaining chords of the song before she actually looked up and her breath caught in the back of her throats and her hands immediately stilled on the keys, making a false tone, when she saw who was nearing her.

She did everything she could to not start hyperventilating.

**~oOoOo~**

How she managed the past two hours without letting Arthur not know what was going on in her mind must've been one of the hardest thing for her to do right now. She snuck glances at the boy and when she studied his face closely, she saw some characteristics of Uther in it. She was so close to just blurt out that he was her son, but she had to be _sure _that this Arthur was _her _Arthur before she would tell Arthur.

Her eyes fell on the silver chain that was peeking out from beneath Arthur's shirt and her hands itched to just grab it and to open the locket to see if her picture was inside.

She turned her attention back to her surroundings and breathed deeply in when Arthur was still playing the song she instructed. Arthur sure was talented, he was playing difficult pieces with precision and a lot of enthusiasm and she saw a lot of herself in him.

When Arthur finished the piece, he turned almost nervously towards her and she smiled softly at him. "That was brilliant, Arthur." She knew it was now or never to get behind the truth, and without even further thinking about it, she said, "Your parents must be proud of you."

But as soon as she said it, just as quick she hated herself for asking it. And especially when Arthur drew his eyes down to the ground.

"I – I wouldn't know, Miss." Was his soft response. "My _mother _left me when I was just a baby." Arthur responded a little harsher and bend down to pick up the stack of papers from the floor and then moved to walk out of the door.

Ygraine hurried after him, wondering whether she should tell him or not.

"Arthur, wait. You still have an hour left." Was what she first came up with to let Arthur stay a bit longer.

Arthur didn't turn around, and started to walk quicker. "I'm sorry, I should go." He muttered, briefly looking over his shoulder when he neared the front door. Ygraine saw the redness that was starting to fill his eyes and she moved closer to Arthur who now had managed to open the door.

Before he was able to walk through it, Ygraine reached out and grasped his elbow with her hand. It made Arthur hesitate for a second, but then turned to her.

"Arthur, I –" Ygraine felt her throat tightening, and however unfortunate this moment was, she knew this would be one of her last chances. Breathing in deeply one last time, she said. "Arthur, I'm your mother."

The stack of papers that Arthur held fell out of his hands and scattered all over the floor. He looked in shock at Ygraine with big eyes before he shook his head in disbelieve.

Ygraine knew there was no turning back now. "I _know _because I gave the necklace you're wearing underneath your shirt to Catrina."

Arthur's hand subconsciously went to his chest where he felt the locket under his shirt. His eyes slowly went up to the woman's face. His breathing became laboured. "No," He whispered and then sharply turned around and ran away.

Ygraine was stunned for a second, but then ran after the boy, no her _son _because she was certain about that now. But he was too quick for her. She screamed his name, but only seemed to make him run even harder. And when he rounded the corner, he seemed to have disappeared into the busy traffic and Ygraine knew that it was useless to follow him. She knew that she had to handled it differently, but like many of her life's choices she screwed this one up as well.

With a heavy heart she walked back to her house, she was planning to get the payment information from the guy who made the booking to begin with. There should be some address information being added as well and if she could contact him, that person might point her in the direction of her son's whereabouts.

But first, she needed to call her father. She needed him there right now.

**~oOoOo~**

Merlin looked at the clock for what must've been the twentieth time this evening. It was seven pm already, while Arthur was supposed to be back around four-ish. Now it wasn't uncommon that Arthur would go into the centre to just walk around or go to the music store, but he _never _missed dinner and Merlin started to get worried. He even tried to call Arthur's phone, but it went straight to voicemail. Next he called his group of friends, but they hadn't heard from him either and told Merlin that they would keep an eye out for him. Lastly he had called the number that was printed on the reservation e-mail for the private session, but that didn't helped him any further.

Merlin sat on the couch and his legs bounced restlessly and he started to bite his nail. What if something happened to Arthur, see he _knew _Arthur shouldn't have gone with the underground, what if he has been robbed and stabbed and was now lying in a ditch _bleeding _to death. What if he was hit by a car? What if he slipped when walking along the river and hit his head and had now drowned.

The what ifs mumbled together in his head and it did nothing to ease his nerves.

Ten minutes later, Merlin's mind was made up. He would get into his car and look at all of Arthur's usual spots to see if he's there, and if that wouldn't result into anything, well then he had only one option left and that was to call every nearby hospital.

Merlin threw on his jacket and grabbed his keys from the bowl next to the door. His hands shook slightly when he opened said door but didn't waste any time to rush out of it, only to collide into the person who he didn't expected to stand in front of him now.

* * *

><p><strong>Where is Arthur? Is he the one that collided into Merlin, or had he perhaps encountered one of the 'what ifs' Merlin had thought about… hmmm, possibly.<strong>

**And I'm soooo sorry about these short updates. School is just getting busy again, and (although I wish it could be different) school is more important than writing stories.**


	10. Chapter 10

**It's been nearly three weeks since the last update, sorry for that. I didn't know how I could exactly write this chapter.**

* * *

><p>Merlin was flabbergasted. In front of him was a familiar face, but not one who he had expected to see. "Gaius?" He then looked at the other person who appeared behind Gaius and his eyes widened. "B-but that's –"<p>

"That is my son, yes." Gaius answered soft and moved Merlin inside and out of the cold. Uther followed suit and closed the door. Once inside, Merlin turned again to face the two men.

"But how! You – you said you hadn't…" Merlin rubbed his temples, he felt confused and a headache was starting to play up.

"It's all a long story," Gaius sighed and moved Merlin towards the couch. "I'll put on the kettle," Gaius said and moved towards the kitchen, leaving Merlin and Uther alone in the room. There was an awkward silence and neither men knew what to say to the other, only when Gaius reappeared again, they noticed the tension faltering, but only a little.

Gaius looked at his son and then back at Merlin, "I'm sure you want to know how I found him."

Merlin only nodded slowly, he couldn't speak.

"But we first need to talk to Arthur, alone." Gaius told him and looked around him when he finally caught up with the fact that Arthur wasn't there in the room, neither did he hear anyone else in the house. "Where is he?"

Merlin swallowed. "I – I don't know. I was about to go out and find him. He hasn't come home after the appointment with Allisandra, and also hasn't been home for dinner."

"What! But that's so unlike him."

"I know!" Merlin breathed in deeply. "I tried his cellphone, I tried our friends, I tried the contact number of Allisandra's contact, I tried _everyone_ I could think off." Merlin took a deep breath, his face turning sad. "What if something happened?"

Gaius put a hand on Merlin's knee, "We can't assume that -"

Suddenly Merlin's phone rang and his hand shot out to his trouser pocket and retrieving the ringing phone. It was an unknown number to him when Merlin looked at the caller-id, but his gut made him still pick up the phone. He had this feeling it wouldn't be something good.

"Hello?"

"Is this mister Emrys?" A female voice asked from the other side of the line.

"Yes, it is." His eyes briefly flicked up to Uther and Gaius.

"Mister Emrys, this is the receptionist of Avalon Hospital calling. We have admitted a," There was a brief pause and Merlin heard some papers ruffling before the woman continued, "Arthur Pendragon to the ER, and he has you listed under his Emergency Contact."

Merlin's lower lip started to quiver. "Is he okay? What happened!" He put the phone away from his mouth to tell the two men next to him, "Arthur is in the ER.", before putting the phone against his ear again.

"It seems that Mister Pendragon has been in some sort of fight, but he didn't tell the hospital staff about what has happened. He had allowed us to examine him and they found some minor injuries, such as a concussion and two lightly bruised ribs. Therefor we only discharge him if someone is able to pick him up from the hospital."

"I'm on my way." Merlin told the receptionist and disconnected the call. Gaius immediately overwhelmed him by questions and inquiries about what happened, while Uther looked shocked and didn't said anything.

"They don't know exactly what happened." Merlin explained. "Only told me that they believe he has a concussion and a few bruised ribs. I'm going there now."

Gaius also made movement to stand up, but Merlin turned to him and put a hand on his shoulder. His eyes first went to Uther and then back to Gaius. "I think it's better if I go alone, and," He looked at Uther again. "I don't think it would be a good idea if you're here when we come home. I don't know what happened, but I don't think he could handle the shock if he would see you here when he came home."

"But he's my son!" Uther said. The first thing he had said all the time he had been inside.

"I know," Merlin sounded hurt by saying it. "but we need to think of Arthur's wellbeing." Merlin turned and walked to the desk in the living room and came back with a set of keys. "It's from the pharmacy next door, Gaius owns that. There is a small studio in the back, perhaps – perhaps you could stay there for the night. Until we know more about what happened to Arthur."

**~oOoOo~**

A nurse brought a nervous Merlin towards one of the cubicles and told Merlin Arthur was in there before moving along again. Merlin swallowed. The whole ride to the hospital had been a nightmare, because the initial shock had died down and then he fully realized that he could've lost Arthur and he figured out what the young teen really meant to him.

Inhaling deeply, Merlin retracted the thick curtain that divided the cubicle and stepped in. His eyes immediately fell on Arthur who sat on the edge of the bed and was now also looking back at him. Without even realizing it, Merlin rushed to the bed and put his hands on either side of Arthur's head and crashed their lips together. It wasn't until their lips touched, Merlin realized what he was doing and tried to back off, but Arthur's hand came up to his neck and held him there. Only after several seconds, Arthur let go and smiled at Merlin.

"I – I – I," Merlin stammered. He didn't know what this meant, did Arthur liked him back?

"I like you, Merlin. For some time actually." Arthur tried to move off the bed, but winced and his hand flew up to his side. Merlin was immediately with him again, he first needed to know what happened to Arthur before he could even converse about what the kiss and Arthur's profession could mean.

"What happened?" Merlin asked softly, easing Arthur back down on the bed.

"I don't want to talk about it." Arthur turned his head away.

"Please,"

Arthur still kept looking to the side until he felt a hand slip into his own. His head turned towards Merlin and he could see the concern in his eyes and it made him crumble. After a deep inhale through his nose, he said; "I found my mother." His hand went to the locket he still wore under the hospital dress. He wanted to throw it into the water, but he couldn't do it.

"What?" Merlin's head not yet spun. What were the odds that Arthur would find both his parents on the same day. "H-how? Who?" Merlin nearly asked the Five Ws.

Arthur knew there was no point in beating around the bush and just spilled the name out. "It's Allisandra Qussaint. Or Ygraine du Bois, as we now know."

Merlin's jaw literally dropped. His eyes blinked rapidly as he looked at Arthur with almost disbelief. "W-what? But – but. No, that can't be. _We _have seen her ourselves. She doesn't look like the picture in the necklace – well," Merlin thought back at when he saw the picture. It could be…

"People's appearances change." Arthur added as some kind of explanation. "And she told me herself." Arthur muttered soft.

"Oh god," Merlin sank down on a plastic fold out seat, his hand rubbing his forehead. Then his head snapped up. "And now?"

"It changes nothing." Arthur answered, harsher than he had spoken all this time. "She didn't want me then, she doesn't have to care now." Arthur moved off the reclining bed, no matter how much pain it did, and searched for the plastic bag that held his belongings.

Merlin stood up from the chair and placed his hands on Arthur upper arms, making him stop what he was doing. Merlin's expression was soft again as he asked, "But how did you got hurt." After a small pause he added, "Did, did she do it?"

"What? No. I – I ran after I found out." Arthur said. "I just ran and didn't really had a sense of direction of where I was going. I ended up at the harbour and I was planning to throw the necklace away, I just didn't want to have anything to do with them. But I couldn't." Arthur let himself being pushed towards the plastic chair Merlin sat on earlier.

"I had to wrap my head around it, because how could I miss something big like that… after having met her, _twice!_" Arthur shrugged to his best abilities, "I lost track of time and when I realized how late it was, I made my way home. I knew you would be home already, so I wanted to call you that I was on my way – only, there was a group of guys who seemed to come out of nowhere. They demanded my phone and money, and when I told them to fuck off, they started bashing me."

"Arthur," Merlin breathed out, his hands covering his mouth.

"If it wasn't for Tristan, I don't know how much worse I would've gotten hurt."

"Tristan?"

"The – uhm, that guy we came across the other day." Arthur looked down in shame. He didn't want to see Merlin's face.

"The guy – oh!" Merlin realised who Arthur was talking about and gently placed his hand onto Arthur's neck. His thumb stroking the skin gingerly. "I'm glad he did." Merlin added soft and Arthur looked up.

"He made sure I was okay and stayed with me until the ambulance came."

"I'm so sorry you had to go through that, and to see _him _again, Arthur." Merlin sank down onto his haunches so he was more on the same eyelevel as Arthur.

"Don't be. I was glad he was there. He never, he never treated me badly. How weird that may sound. He was the only one I felt just slightly loved."

"Oh Arthur," Merlin began, but he had no idea how to finish that sentence. And there wasn't time either, because the curtain of the cubicle was pushed away and a nurse came in with a small tray, announcing that she would do the final check-up and administer some pain-relieving medication and then he was good to go.


End file.
